


Love at Second Sight

by flyy0ufools



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Bottom Jared, Fluff, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Top Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-04 18:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12776739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyy0ufools/pseuds/flyy0ufools
Summary: Jared works as a ticket collector for the Chicago Transit Authority. He spends his days feeling bored and lonely, except for a few seconds every morning whenhecomes by. Jared doesn’t know whoheis, doesn’t know anything about the guy except that he likes to wear suits and carry briefcases and he’s got the most brilliant blue eyes. Jared’s pretty sure he’s in love with this mystery man. One day, Jared witnesses a mugging gone bad, and the guy gets knocked onto the tracks. Jared manages to save him but the guy falls into a coma. A nurse in the waiting room of the hospital overhears Jared talking to himself, and misunderstandings lead to the guy’s family thinking that he and Jared are engaged. And they seem so happy about the news that Jared can’t break their hearts, so he finds himself playing the part. The only hitch? The guy’s very skeptical brother, who seems determined to find out the truth.Based on the movieWhile You Were Sleeping.





	1. Chapter 1

“Two hundred dollars for a Christmas tree and they don’t deliver?! You order ten bucks of chow mein from Mr. Won’s and they bring it to your door!” Jared grumbled loudly as he strained to pull the rope that was currently being used to hoist his freshly-cut Douglas Fir up and through the window of his third-story apartment.  That was the downside to cheap living in Chicago: no elevators and the stairs were barely wide enough for Jared himself to fit through, let alone a damn tree.

“Ugh, god. I should’ve gotten the Blue Spruce, they’re lighter,” he said, again out loud. Jared didn’t live with anyone save for the big but sweet mutt that he’d adopted from the pound a year ago. So Jared tended to talk to himself out loud fairly often, even if Sadie never responded. It made him feel a little less alone.

He could just barely see the tip of the tree poking above the window sill. He stepped back, and that was of course the exact moment his klutzy side decided to butt in. He stepped right onto the rope slack, feet immediately sliding out from underneath him. As he fell hard on his ass, he lost his grip on the rope. It was almost like slow motion, the way he watched it slide through his fingers, slither quickly across the floor, then whip up and out the window. A second later, her heard a smash and the sound of breaking glass.

“Shit,” he winced.

“ _Jared_!” he heard a voice yell from where his tree had just crashed.

“ _Shit_ ,” Jared repeated, then got up, dusted himself off, and headed out of his apartment and down the stairs to face his landlord.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Luckily, the owner of the building, Joe, was a nice guy and seemed to have developed a soft spot for Jared. He was a big and burly, with salt and pepper hair and a Chicago accent so thick it almost sounded fake.

“Nature of claim: Christmas tree through window.” Joe sighed and rustled the papers on his table. “How am I gonna put that on the insurance? They’re still pissed about the time Tina invited some guy over and they tried to barbecue in the stairwell.”

Tina was Joe’s daughter. She was about Jared’s age, but that was where their similarities ended. Tina was loud, obnoxious, and not at all subtle about hitting on Jared every time they crossed paths. Not that Jared would ever take her up on the offer, even if he _did_ happen to swing that way. Which he didn’t. But he didn’t really want to tell his freaking landlord that, either.

“I’m sorry, Joe. I—I’ll pay for this,” Jared stuttered out, not quite sure where he’d get the money.

“It’s okay, Jared,” Joe said, smiling and finally looking up from the form he’d been attempting to fill out. “Besides, my brother Tony is in the glass business.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jared was grabbing a hot dog for lunch while freezing his butt off in the mid-winter Chicago wind. _At least it hasn’t snowed yet_ , he thought just as he saw a few fat flakes float down. He rolled his eyes and stepped away from the food cart to wait for his boss.

“Jared!” a voice called out a few minutes later as a guy more than twice Jared’s age jogged up to him.

“Hey, Jerry,” Jared responded. He didn’t have to work with his boss every day like most people, but he was glad nonetheless that he liked Jerry.

“So,” Jerry started, unfolding a paper from his pocket. “I am recommending you for employee of the month!”

“Really? I didn’t know we did that.”

“Well, we do.” Jerry began reading from the paper. “Supervisor Jerry Wilson nominates Jared Padalecki for employee of the month. Jared is never tardy, always works holidays even if he has worked the previous holiday. Just because he worked Thanksgiving, Jared is willing to work Christmas, too…” Jerry finished off, looking up at Jared in question.

“Jerry. I’m _not_ working Christmas,” Jared said adamantly, but he knew that the conversation was over before it had even started. After all, people liked to be with their families during the holidays, and Jared had no family, which meant he often got handed the metaphorical short straw. Which was how he ended up working on the “most wonderful day of the year.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

It started like any other day. Well, except for the fact that it was Christmas. But really, it could have been any given Tuesday for Jared. Besides the decrease in the number of people coming by his token booth to take the L train, everything else was the same. So no one could judge him if he maybe kind of started to zone out a bit.

The tinkling sound of a coin against metal and a deep voice saying “Hi” drew Jared from his daydream. His eyes focused and he started to say hello back, but the word got stuck in his throat. He was staring straight into the bright blue eyes of the guy he’d secretly been in love with since he saw him seven months ago. Jared sometimes referred to the mystery man as his “knight in shining armor,” though he would never actually _tell_ anyone that. And here was his knight, _finally_ talking to Jared…and all he could do was sit there frozen, a dumbstruck look on his face.

“Merry Christmas,” the guy said with a smile, then walked away towards the train platform. Jared’s tongue finally unglued itself from the roof of his mouth, but it was too late.

“Dammit,” he muttered, grinding his teeth in frustration and shaking his head sadly at his missed chance. “Nice coat. Merry Christmas to you, too. You’re beautiful. Will you marry me? I love you!” Jared listed out loud to the empty ticket booth all the possible things he could have said to his knight. He dropped head onto the desk in front of him, cursing himself and his life.

Lost in his thoughts, he almost didn’t hear the commotion happening thirty feet away on the platform. But the arguing got louder, enough to make Jared look up again. He couldn’t distinguish the words but he didn’t need to understand them to know instantly what was happening. Two grungy-looking guys had crowded up around Jared’s mystery man. They were grabbing at his scarf and coat and briefcase while he was backing up slowly, trying to push them away. But Jared’s knight had backed up too far, and his next step was met with open air. Jared watched in horror as the guy lost his footing and fell backwards from the edge of the platform, disappearing from Jared’s sight.

The would-be muggers took off like a gunshot, but Jared paid no attention to them as he slammed out of his booth and raced along the platform to where his knight had tumbled. Jared found him laying on his back in the middle of the nearest track, eyes closed and body unmoving.

“Hey! Hey—” In that moment more than any other, Jared wished desperately that he knew the mystery man’s name. “Dude! Hey, can you hear me?!” The guy remained motionless, so Jared didn’t think twice, just jumped down onto the tracks to get within reaching distance of his knight. Except maybe now Jared would have to call him his damsel in distress.

He pushed the appallingly ill-timed thought away and focused on the task at hand: getting him off the tracks. Jared leaned over the man, gripping his shoulders and shaking him fiercely. Now was _not_ the time to be cautious.

“Hey, buddy! Wake up!” he yelled only inches from the guy’s face. Still no reaction, so Jared slapped the man’s cheeks, first lightly then not-so-lightly. Still, his efforts were met with no response and Jared’s panic ratcheted up tenfold when he heard the sound of a train horn announcing its impending arrival. Jared knew he had just twenty seconds to get them both off the tracks before they were crushed to death.

“Fuck, fuck fuck _fuck_ ,” he hissed, looking around frantically. He spotted the open space underneath the platform, then looked back up to see the train coming around the last bend. Their time was almost up. “ _Fuck_ ,” he cursed again. Then, as if his body knew exactly what to do while his brain was going offline, he laid down on top of his unconscious knight, grabbed the lapels of his jacket in a death grip, and rolled them to the side until they were safely underneath the platform. And not a moment too soon.

“Jesus Christ,” Jared whispered, heart lurching as his brain caught up to the fact that he had _almost just died_. He looked down at the guy he loved, the guy who’d only ever said three words to Jared. Eyelids fluttered open and Jared caressed his cheek lightly.

“Hi,” he said quietly. His knight’s eyes rolled back as unconsciousness took over, and Jared was left alone once again.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jared rushed in through the emergency room entrance of the hospital that the paramedics had informed him was where his knight would be taken. He hurried to the desk, heart pounding harder and harder with each step.

“Hi, hi, hello,” he babbled, almost hysterical, “a man was just brought in here and he—I was—”

“Please calm down, sir,” the nurse said evenly. “Can you tell me his name?”

“No—I—I mean, we were—”

“You don’t know his name?” The nurse eyed him, but Jared paid no attention as he glanced to the side and caught sight of his mystery man laid out on a stretcher just past the glass that was separating the waiting room from a large hallway.

He walked towards the doors feeling like he was in a haze; everything around him was fuzzy except for the man he was moving towards. As he reached the doors, they slid open and a doctor walked through, stopping Jared in his tracks.

“Excuse me, sir, you can’t be in here.”

“No—but I was—”

“Are you family?”

“No,” Jared replied, shoulders slumping. He knew what was coming next.

“I’m sorry but it’s family only,” the doctor said, voice devoid of any hint of sympathy. He turned around and disappeared back through the doors before Jared had a chance to say anything else.

“But…I was gonna marry him,” Jared whispered, promising himself that it was the last time he would ever speak about the mystery man. Because it was obvious to him now that reality was cruel and Jared’s knight in shining armor would never show up to rescue him.

Unbeknownst to Jared, a nurse hovered just behind him. There was a surprised but compassionate look on her face as she heard every single word uttered by the man standing forlornly in front of her.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jared lingered in the waiting room for a few minutes, feeling completely out of place. He didn’t belong here, not anymore. He was just turning to leave when a hand stopped him gently. He found himself looking at a nurse who just smiled and crooked her finger at him to follow.

They wound through a maze of corridors before finally entering a hallway that was eerily silent. They walked halfway down the hall before the nurse led Jared into room 2303. The mystery man was laying peacefully in a bed in the center of the room. He had cuts and bruises on his face but to Jared, he still looked as beautiful as always.

“Here, sit,” the nurse said, and Jared jumped at the sound, almost forgetting that she was there. He sat awkwardly in the chair near the head of the bed then looked up at the nurse, not sure what he was doing there.

“Let him hear your voice,” she said, then left him alone in the room. Well, kind of alone. Jared didn’t think a coma patient would be very good conversation, but he cleared his throat and started to talk anyways.

“Hey,” he said softly. “It’s me. Um…god, you scared me. I don’t—” he clamped down on the next words as an officer entered the room.

“Excuse me, Mr…?”

“Padalecki,” Jared provided, standing up and moving towards the foot of the bed.

“Right,” the officer said, not bothering to try and pronounce the mouthful of a last name. “You saved this man, correct?” Jared nodded. “Okay, I’d just like to ask you a few questions—”

“Officer, may I interrupt you?” someone said from behind the cop. It was an older gentleman wearing a lab coat. Jared wondered when he was going to be kicked out of the room. Instead, the doctor held out a hand to Jared.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Ruben.”

“Jared,” he said, shaking his hand.

Suddenly, a storm of footsteps and voices could be heard moving quickly towards the room.

“Don’t tell me about passes, where the hell is he?” a voice said loudly as a group of people came into view. The voice had come from the man leading the group, looking to be in his mid-fifties and very angry.

“Dad, don’t embarrass us!” a girl’s voice came, hidden someone in the middle of everyone else.

The moment the man—the dad, Jared guessed—stepped through the door and saw Jared’s knight laying motionless in the bed, his anger dropped and was replaced with a look of concern. A woman came up to stand next to the man, clutching at his arm.

“Oh my god, he looks so pale!” she cried out.

As if they were all a part of one larger body, the group of people moved in sync towards the bed. Jared counted just five people, but from the amount of noise they were making it sounded like at least three times that many. He backed into the corner, trying to stay out of sight from what was apparently the mystery guy’s family. So far they hadn’t noticed him, but who knew how long that would last. And he was sure that once they did, he would have to leave immediately.

“He’s all right, right?”

“What happened? What happened?”

“He’s in a coma,” the doctor’s voice said over the others.

“Oh, on Christmas day!”

“His vital signs are good, his brain waves are strong. I think he’s going to get through this,” the doctor said, momentarily quieting the group. But they immediately started up again.

“Brain waves?”

“Are you a specialist?”

“How did this happen?”

Jared wasn’t sure where the urge came from to jump in at this point—maybe because he’d been the only one to see what had happened—but his mouth was open before he could stop himself.

“Um, he was pushed from the platform at the train station,” he said quietly. The family all turned towards him at once, their combined stares causing Jared to start sweating.

“Who’s he?” the dad asked.

“He’s his fiancé,” the nurse—who had reentered the room at some point—replied, sounding slightly astounded, like she couldn’t believe that his own father didn’t know his son was engaged.

 _Wait—what?!_ Jared’s mind stumbled over the nurse’s statement. Before he could deny the false declaration, everyone was talking again.

“His _fiancé_?” the woman standing by the father—so probably the mother—asked in shock.

“Yes, Duncan’s fiancé,” the nurse replied.

 _Well,_ Jared thought distantly, _at least I know the guy’s name now_.

“What?!” said the dad in disbelief.

“Yeah, I thought…” the nurse started.

“No, no no no,” Jared tried to interrupt, but his voice was too quiet to be heard by anyone.

“Maybe he was busy?” an older woman said earnestly. Jared assumed she was probably the guy’s—no, _Duncan’s_ —grandmother.

“What, too busy to tell his own mother he’s getting married?” the dad asked, some of his anger returning. And still Jared tried to jump in, to set the record straight, but his voice kept getting lost either in his own throat or in the hullabaloo of the room.

The family continued to argue or whatever it was they were doing, when after a minute they were interrupted by the doctor who had turned Jared away at the ER earlier.

“Doctor, what is _he_ doing in here?” the man asked Dr, Ruben, obviously annoyed by Jared’s presence.

“Buddy,” the officer interjected defensively, “he saved his life.” That got the room quiet again.

“You saved his life?” the mom asked softly.

“Yeah, yeah, but I—” Jared tried again to fix the misunderstanding, but the dad interrupted.

“I thought he was pushed off a train platform?”

“He jumped on the tracks,” the officer replied with a smile that conveyed how impressed he was with Jared’s actions.

“You jumped on the tracks?!” asked an older man, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. He was standing closer to Jared than any of other family members, and looked to possibly be Duncan’s grandfather, although it didn’t seem like he was married to the older woman.

“Yeah,” Jared said with a wince.

“Doctor, it’s supposed to be _family only_ ,” the ER doctor practically whined. The dad threw his hand against the guy’s chest, cutting him off.

“He _is_ family,” he said as he studied Jared.

“He’s the fiancé, you idiot,” Dr. Ruben clarified with a look of distaste.

“Okay, um, I’m sorry but I think there’s been a misun—” Jared was cut short again as the mother walked towards him, her words mixing with Jared’s and making them both unintelligible until Jared paused his rambling.

“It’s just we haven’t seen him for a long time so we didn’t know, and I…I always wanted him to find a nice girl…or guy,” she added. “I’m so glad he found you!” She began sobbing as Jared was enveloped in a warm, crushing hug. He froze for a second, but he could sense so many overwhelming emotions coming from the woman that he couldn’t help but unconsciously hug her back. He felt the rest of the family gathering around him in a group hug. In that moment, Jared knew he couldn’t break the news to them. At least, not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are ❤


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Jared had realized that the attention was going to be focused on him for at least the next hour, he forced himself to relax a little. As the family talked to him and amongst themselves, he was finally able to understand just how close-knit they were. It warmed Jared’s heart but also made it hurt a little. Jared had always wanted something like that. His mother had died when he was still too young to remember her, and his father had died before Jared was truly an adult. He’d never known any other family members.
> 
> So these people—as loud and aggressive and intimidating as they first seemed to be—transformed right in front of Jared into caring, genuine (but still loud) humans. And Jared, well…he couldn’t break their hearts with the truth, not while Duncan laid comatose in the bed down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, Jared finally meets Jensen...

As Jared laid alone in bed that night, his mind replayed the day’s events. Not the accident or the near-death experience (Jared _never_ wanted to think about that again), but what had happened at the hospital. After Duncan’s family accepted Jared as his fiancé, they all went to sit in the waiting room. At first they just stared at Jared, making him blush and fidget. Finally, the questions started.

Where did you meet? How long have you been together? What first drew you to him? And on and on and on.

Although Jared didn’t know the answers to most of them, the family didn’t seem to mind his stuttering and hesitant replies. And to Jared, it felt less like the interrogation he was expecting and more like the family genuinely wanted to get to know him and his relationship (well, fake relationship) with Duncan.

Jared did eventually find out all their names. The dad was Robert (though everyone except his wife called him Bob). The wife’s name was Maggie, and Duncan’s sister was Erin. Jared still wasn’t sure how the two older people were related to Duncan as it hadn’t come up, but he now knew them as Bea and Clark.

Once Jared had realized that the attention was going to be focused on him for at least the next hour, he forced himself to relax a little. As the family talked to him and amongst themselves, he was finally able to understand just how close-knit they were. It warmed Jared’s heart but also made it hurt a little. Jared had always wanted something like that. His mother had died when he was still too young to remember her, and his father had died before Jared was truly an adult. He’d never known any other family members.

So these people—as loud and aggressive and intimidating as they first seemed to be—transformed right in front of Jared into caring, genuine (but still loud) humans. And Jared, well…he couldn’t break their hearts with the truth, not while Duncan laid comatose in the bed down the hall.

Unable to sleep, he got up and dressed without turning on any lights. He made sure there was water and food for Sadie before leaving his apartment and walking out into the calm city. At first he just wandered around aimlessly, but eventually he found himself staring at the doors to the hospital. Visiting hours were definitely over by this point, but since all of the nurses and doctors that had been taking care of Duncan thought that Jared was his fiancé, he figured they’d let his presence slide.

For the first ten or fifteen minutes that Jared sat beside Duncan, he couldn’t think of anything to say. Finally, he decided to start from the beginning.

“Hey. I…well. I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Jared, Jared Padalecki. We’ve seen each other almost every day for the past seven months, but I’m sure you don’t remember me. But I, well, I kind of fell in love with you. I don’t know why or how, since you’ve never really talked to me, but…” he trailed off, feeling lost for a moment.

“Anyways, your family thinks we’re engaged. I didn’t mean for that to happen, it was just a big misunderstanding. But then, um, well, your family is kind of amazing. And they were so upset about what happened to you, and I just couldn’t make it worse by telling them the truth. But once you’re awake I will clear everything up, I promise. I’m so sorry, Duncan. I hope that, when you do finally wake up, you won’t hate me.” Jared fell silent again, unaware of the presence standing right outside the door listening to Jared’s confession.

Clark turned away from the room with a sad smile and headed back towards the waiting area while Jared drifted off to sleep.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jared woke up the next morning, a crick in his neck from falling asleep with his head laying at an odd angle on the mattress. He stood up quickly and looked around, but no one else was in the room. He took a minute to stretch out some kinks and then turned towards the door. Before he could make it out, Duncan’s family came filing in, just as loud as before but this time infinitely cheerier.

“Jared! Good to see you again!” Maggie said. “Are you leaving already?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jared replied.

“Aw, you spent the night here,” Erin noticed. Jared felt his face flush. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but just being in a room with another person—even though said person was in a coma and didn’t know Jared from any other stranger—had eased the tension in him and lulled him to sleep without him realizing what was happening.

“Listen, Jared,” Bob said, “we didn’t get to celebrate Christmas because…” he gestured towards the bed, then continued. “So we’re having a get-together at the house tonight and we’d love it if you joined us.”

“Um, are you sure?” Jared asked.

“Of course!” Maggie replied. “You’re family now. Come on, give us your number and we’ll give you our address.”

“Oh, and you haven’t met Jensen yet!” Erin said excitedly.

“That’s right, Jensen’s gonna be there,” Maggie mused.

“Jensen is our other kid. Two years younger than Duncan,” Bob explained.

“Ah,” Jared said. When he’d gotten to the hospital that night, after surreptitiously making sure no one was looking, he’d snuck a glance at Duncan’s chart at the end of the bed. He’d learned that Duncan was born in 1976 and his last name was Ackles. Probably crucial information to have, especially if he was going to be spending the entire evening with the Ackles family.

“Okay,” Jared said, scrawling his number on a piece of paper that Clark offered to him. He was handed back a business card for what seemed to be some type of furniture company. On the back was a phone number and an address that Jared was pretty sure was right outside the city. “Thanks,” he murmured, feeling excited, nervous, and guilty.

“We’ll see you tonight!” Bea said happily. Jared nodded and hurried out of the room to the elevators as the guilt continued to weigh him down.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Back and forth he went all day. Should he go? Should he not go? It wasn’t until he was sitting down at the tiny table in his even tinier kitchen with a crappy microwave meal in front of him and silence all around him that he made a decision.

He didn’t want to show up completely empty-handed and he was glad that he happened to have a bottle of wine on hand. It certainly wasn’t expensive (nothing Jared owned was), but he swore it tasted better than a lot of the snobby stuff out there.

Unwilling to brave public transportation in the frigid evening air and the snow that had fallen all afternoon, Jared reluctantly ponied up the cash to take a cab to the Ackles’ home. Thankfully, it was only about fifteen minutes from his apartment, so the fare wasn’t completely bank-breaking.

As he stood outside the house, wine clutched firmly in his hands, he stopped and stared. It was a typical house city house, nothing fancy but still nice and inviting. There was just the right amount of Christmas lights around the roofline and across the bushes, and Jared could see the warm light and hear laughter emanating through the living room window.

“What the hell am I doing?” he muttered to himself, but before he could turn to leave, someone was calling his name.

“Jared! You made it!” Clark was walking down the sidewalk, coming towards him. Which meant Jared was definitely not going to be able to leave now.

“Yeah. Hi, Clark.”

“So, you wanna keep standing out here or you want to come inside?” he asked with a chuckle. Jared shrugged but didn’t respond.

“C’mon, son,” Clark said, gripping Jared’s shoulder and steering him towards the front door. Up the three steps to the porch they went and the door opened, revealing the rest of the family.

“Jared!” “We’re so glad you came!” “Come in, come in, you must be freezing!”

It seemed like everyone was not just happy but actually _excited_ to see Jared. Like he meant something to them. Like he really was already part of their family.

He hadn’t felt like that in a long time.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

They stayed up late, opening presents and drinking bad eggnog that Bea had made (then immediately switching to the wine that Jared had brought). They insisted that he stay for the night, that it was too cold and too dark to be out in the city. Jared ceded, unable to say no to the warmth of the house and the people surrounding him, and they made up the couch for him before wishing him a good night and heading upstairs to their bedrooms.

He twisted and turned, trying to get his 6’4” frame comfortable on the not-quite-big enough sofa. Then again, no sofas were big enough to him. He was just starting to drift off when he heard the front door open and someone step inside. Jared froze, worried for a moment that someone was breaking in. But then he heard the hushed yet happy voice of Erin.

“Jensen, finally! Didn’t think you’d make it home tonight.”

“Hey, rascal,” said a smooth voice, sending shivers down Jared’s spine. Jared blamed it on the rush of cold air that had entered with the third Ackles child.

“Shh, don’t wake Jared,” Erin shushed.

“Who’s Jared?” Jensen asked in a whisper.

“Duncan’s fiancé.”

“ _What_?”

“Jensen!” Erin hissed, essentially making as much noise as Jensen was.

“Sorry. But…no. There’s no way. Seriously, Erin. What the hell? When did Duncan start dating guys?” Jared’s stomach dropped, learning that apparently Duncan was supposed to be straight. But the conversation kept going and Jared pushed his own racing thoughts away to continue listening.

“I dunno, Jen. But I mean, it’s not like he’s been real close with us the last few years, y’know?”

“How did mom and dad take it?”

Erin giggled. “Man, they didn’t even blink.” Jensen huffed, almost sounding put-out.

“Guess it’s because they’ve had practice.” Jared detected a hint of bitterness, but he wasn’t sure what it meant.

“Jensen, don’t be like that. That was years ago. Come on, come upstairs. I’m surprised we haven’t woken Jared up yet.”

“Did grandma make eggnog?”

“Yeah. It was as disgusting as always. But Jared brought wine, I think there’s a little left.”

“Nah, I’m okay. I should go to sleep soon anyways.”

Their voices faded as they made their way upstairs, and Jared had a whole new slew of problems to deal with, mainly the fact that Duncan was supposed to be straight and that Jensen was already skeptical about everything.

Jared’s precarious house of cards (which he had neither built nor asked for) looked like it was about to come crumbling down.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

He managed to sneak out the next morning before anyone had woken up. When he got home he ate some breakfast then decided to go throw the box of Duncan’s belongings that a nurse had given to him when he’d left the hospital the day before. He’d also met one of Duncan’s friends in the elevator and learned something about Duncan that was _way_ too much information, even for someone who was (supposedly) his fiancé.

He pulled out some of the standard items: a key ring with a few keys, a wallet, a money clip. There was also a small, crumpled brown bag in the box. When Jared emptied the bag, only one thing fell out. He stared at it for a minute before it finally clicked.

“Shit,” he said. “Shit shit shit.” He got up and threw on his shoes and coat as fast as possible, then grabbed the item from the bag and Duncan’s keys and wallet and ran out of his apartment.

He checked the ID for Duncan’s address and for once was thankful that he worked at the train station. He knew exactly how to get there.

He let himself in (after trying three of the five keys) and closed the door, looking around the apartment. It was big, obviously expensive and filled with equally pricey furniture and décor.

“Here, kitty,” he called out, placing a can of cat food on the kitchen island. Because that’s what he’d found in the bag: cat food. Which meant Duncan had a cat. Which meant the cat hadn’t been fed for a day and a half. And sure, Jared really didn’t like cats compared to dogs, but cats were still living, breathing things, and he would never knowingly let one starve.

He wandered around the spacious apartment, alternating whistling and calling out “Here, kitty kitty kitty,” he noted the modern furniture and expertly placed touches of art and lamps and random meaningless trinkets, as if the place had been designed by a professional for a magazine shoot and not for someone to actually live in. Jared liked wood and leather and cozy knit blankets and for his place to feel warm and inviting, even if it was a bit shabby. But as he stood in the center of the large living room, surrounded by chrome and sleek furniture that he hoped he’d never have to sit on, calling for a cat that hopefully wasn’t dead yet, the perfect picture of Duncan in Jared’s mind seemed to have lost its prince charming aspect.

 _But maybe_ , Jared thought, _that’s normal when you get to know someone. After all, nobody is perfect, and of all the flaws that someone could have, liking cats and uncomfortable chairs is hardly the worst-case scenario_.

Feeling a little better, he continued his search for the cat. There was a swinging door on the far side of the kitchen, which Jared assumed led to a hall and the bedrooms, and as he pushed it open it smacked into something on the other side.

“Ow, fuck!” a person on the other side of the door cursed, and Jared thought he maybe recognized that voice, even though he’d heard it only once for a few short minutes in the dead of night at the Ackles house. He pushed the door open again, slowly this time, and was met with the sight of Jensen bent over slightly and clutching his nose.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Jared said. “Shit, I’m such a klutz. Um, here, let me get you some ice…” he backed away from the door as Jensen stepped through, then opened the freezer and grabbed a handful of ice cubes. “Okay, those are kind of cold,” he muttered as they dropped onto the tile floor one by one. He heard a chuckle from behind him and turned to look.

He sucked in a breath because, even with his hand covering his face, Jensen was…beautiful. Not that Duncan wasn’t. Hell, they were brothers. It shouldn’t exactly be a surprise that they both had good—nay, _excellent_ —genes. But they were both gorgeous in ways that were _so_ very different.

Duncan had dark brown hair, long but not as long as Jared’s, and swept away from his face like Jared only ever saw on models. Jensen had shorter, spikier, dirty-blond hair that stuck up like he’d just gotten out of bed. But definitely not in a bad way. And where Duncan was clean-shaven, Jensen had a strawberry blond beard, thick but neatly trimmed. The beard and the messy-ruffled look gave him a sort of rugged-man appearance, whereas Duncan looked as sleek and shiny as his apartment.

And as gorgeous as Duncan’s blue eyes had always been to Jared, Jensen’s bright green ones were practically mesmerizing. Not that Jared was staring or anything. Because he was engaged to _Duncan_. Well, fake engaged.

 _Fuck, this whole thing is a huge fucking mess_ , he thought as Jensen’s eyes swept over him.

“Hi,” he said dumbly.

“Hey,” Jensen replied, looking a little dumbstruck as well. But maybe that was just Jared’s imagination, because the next instant Jensen’s face was back to neutral and he was asking him, “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know,” Jared shrugged, hoping he sounded nonchalant. “Just checking up on things, feeding the cat—”

“Duncan doesn’t have a cat,” Jensen cut in.

“Um,” Jared started to say, but was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of purring. Around the corner from the living room ( _Seriously, where had that thing been hiding?_ , Jared thought) came a very fluffy, very annoyed looking cat. Jared cringed internally, but he had a role to play so he walked over and picked up the cat, covertly checking out the name tag as he lifted it up.

“Hey…Snowball, hey honey. Let’s get you some food.” He brought the cat over to the kitchen counter and opened up the can. He didn’t miss the look of confusion that flitted across Jensen’s face, and Jared thought that maybe he wasn’t quite so doubtful anymore.

Jared’s phone rang and he answered right away, grateful to get out of Jensen’s crosshairs for the moment.

“Hello?”

“Jared? It’s Maggie. Where are you?”

“I’m, um, at Duncan’s place. Feeding the cat.”

“Duncan has a cat?”

“Guess so.”

“Right. Anyways, we’re all going over the hospital, if you want to meet us there. And I was hoping you’d be able to meet Jensen since you didn’t get a chance to last night, but I’m not sure where he’s run off to.”

“Oh, actually, Jensen’s here as well,” Jared squeaked.

“What’s he doing at Duncan’s?”

“I have no idea.”

“Right, well, tell him to come to. See you down there?”

“Sure,” Jared replied, then hung up. He turned to Jensen who was looking at him questioningly, one eyebrow raised.

“So…that was your mom. She wanted to meet me—I mean, us, since you’re here too, at the hospital.”

“Sounds good. Lead the way,” Jensen replied with a smirk.

“Uh, what do you mean?”

“Well, we can take Duncan’s car.”

“But…didn’t you drive here?” Jared asked hopefully.

“Yeah, but Duncan’s car is way nicer than my truck,” Jensen pointed out smugly.

 _I’m so fucking screwed,_ Jared thought as he led them out of the apartment and towards the elevators. Luckily, the parking garage had its own button so at least the elevator didn’t thwart Jared’s lie. But once down in the garage, surrounded by cars, Jared felt extra-screwed.

“You know where he parked, right?” Jensen asked.

 _I don’t even know if this garage_ has _assigned parking spots_ , Jared thought.

“Yeah, of course,” he said instead, raising the car key fob and pressing the unlock doors button, hoping the car was close enough for him to see it. And yep, it was right there just across the driving lane. A bright red Mercedes-Benz. Two-door.

“Oh, god,” Jared muttered. Not that he had any room to judge, seeing as he couldn’t afford _any_ type of car, but still. A red fucking Mercedes? _Really_?

“You should drive,” Jared said, tossing the keys to Jensen. For once, Jensen didn’t question him on it, just nodded and caught the keys before heading to the driver’s side.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

The drive over to the hospital was awkward and tense. Jared didn’t even try to make conversation, but when Jensen started talking he was kind of relieved. The silence had been suffocating.

“We’ll have to get your picture for the mantle.”

“My picture?” Jared asked.

“Well, yours and Duncan’s.”

“Oh. No, that’s okay. I’m not very photogenic anyways.”

“I doubt that,” Jensen muttered. Jared wasn’t sure he heard him right, but he didn’t dare ask, and Jensen was already pushing on with another question. “So when did you two meet?”

“May 22nd,” Jared replied immediately. He only remembered the date because it was his father’s birthday, and Jared always felt crappy that day. Seeing Duncan for the first time, even though it was just a quick glance, had given him something else to ruminate on.

“Seven months, that’s…is that fast?” Jensen wondered aloud.

“I have no idea,” Jared answered honestly. He’d never been in a real relationship. _Not that this one is real_ , he reminded himself.

“How old are you?” Jensen asked.

“Um. Twenty-five. Why?”

“Just curious.”

“Okay…”

The rest of the drive passed in silence again, though the tension levels had at least decreased slightly. Apparently, though, Jensen had just been putting his plan together because when they entered the hospital room, the real questions started.

“Why does he have a TV? He’s in a coma for God’s sake,” Bob was saying as he and Clark played cards across a small table.

“The doctor said he might be able to hear us,” Bea pointed out.

“Then get him a radio.”

“Maybe someone should sing to him.”

“Maybe Jared knows his favorite song,” Erin said.

“Puff the Magic Dragon,” everyone said at once, and Jared jumped in halfway through. _Thank god for long song titles_ , he thought, then the actual answer finally registered. Was Duncan’s favorite song seriously Puff the Magic Dragon?

As Jared thought about that, he began to realize all the things he truly didn’t know about this stranger laying in the bed in front of him. What _was_ Duncan’s favorite song? Favorite movie? Favorite food? Oh god, what if he was a vegetarian? Or worse, _vegan_? Jared loved a good steak, and while chrome coffee tables and cats and weird-ass taste in music might not be deal-breakers, a boyfriend constantly telling Jared about the dangers of red meat would definitely get him kicked to the curb.

He was torn from his thoughts by Jensen, hovering in front of him with a determined look on his face.

“Which one of the Three Stooges was Duncan’s favorite?”

“C-Curly,” Jared said, only stuttering slightly.

“Ha!” Jared jumped slightly at Jensen’s look of triumph, but it slid off his face quickly. “He was everybody’s favorite,” he muttered sullenly.

“I liked Shemp,” Clark said from beside them. Jensen ignored him.

“What is Duncan’s favorite ice cream?”

“Mint chocolate chip,” Jared said confidently. He’d seen it in the freezer earlier when he’d been getting ice for Jensen’s nose.

“Favorite baseball team?”

“Chicago,” Jared said, feeling less confident again.

“Cubs or White Sox?” Jensen fired back.

The answer of Cubs was on the tip of Jared’s tongue because seriously, what self-respecting person actually liked the Sox? Then again, so far everything he’d thought of, _dreamed of_ about Duncan had been slightly off-mark. Before he answered, Maggie interrupted them.

“Jensen! What’s all this about?”

“Don’t ask me,” he said smugly. “Ask Jared’s _girlfriend_.”

“Ex- _cuse_ me?” Jared said, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Seriously, what the hell are you talking about?” Bob asked.

“I went by Jared’s apartment today before going to Duncan’s. I met a very lovely young woman who claimed to be Jared’s girlfriend. Christina Rozzio.”

Jared snorted out a laugh. “ _Tina_? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“Nope. Why would she say she’s your girlfriend if she wasn’t?”

“The same reason why she says she invented push-up bras. She’s _delusional_.”

“She seemed very lucid when I talked to her,” Jensen remarked. Jared rolled his eyes.

“Look,” Bea piped up from a chair by the head of the bed, “if Jared wanted to prove it, he’d prove it.” Jared’s mouth dropped open at that. How was he supposed to tell them something personal, something _private_ about Duncan when he didn’t even know if the guy ate beef?

The answer came to him like an aha moment, and suddenly he was really fucking glad that he’d run into Duncan’s friend in the elevator and been treated to that horrific story.

As the whole family turned and looked at him expectantly, Jared took a deep breath, tried not to cringe too much, and plunged in head-first.

“Duncan h-has one testicle.” Everybody looked down at Duncan in shock, then back up at Jared.

“No fucking way,” Jensen blurted out.

“Yes way,” Jared replied. “About three months ago there was an accident and he was playing basketball and his friend had a, uh, pencil in his back pocket.”

“Oh, god,” Clark said.

“Ewww,” came from Erin, and yeah, Jared really didn’t enjoy telling that story with Duncan’s little sister in the room.

“Maybe, uh…” Jensen trailed off, looking from his dad to his mom and back again.

“Yeah, um,” Bob said with a slight shake of his head. Looks were traded all around the room before Bob finally said, “Well, somebody’s gotta look.”

“Don’t look at me,” Erin said immediately. More looks were traded.

“Fine! I’m his mother, I’ll do it.” Everyone turned their heads away as Maggie lifted the blankets. Jared didn’t bother trying to hide his wince this time, but when Maggie dropped the sheets back down and nodded her head tightly, Jared knew he was off the hook.

“Well, look at the bright side,” Bea said lightly, “he’s got more room in his Jockey shorts.”

“Grandma!” Erin screeched.

“Aw Grams, come on!” Jensen flinched back. Jared just laughed. The whole thing, it was too much. He excused himself and hurried out into the hall and past the elevators to the restroom, not sure if he was going to start laughing again or just completely break down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are ❤


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day he ended up at the hospital at the same time as everyone else, and the family all ganged up on him to get him to come to dinner that night. Which was why Jared was sitting at a kitchen table with six other people he was kind of starting to love, witnessing the most ridiculous family meal he’d ever seen.

A few days later, there was a knock on Jared’s door. He’d been down to the hospital every day, mostly because it was expected of him at this point, but he really didn’t mind being able to sit there and look at Duncan as long as he wanted without anyone thinking of him as a creep. For the most part, he’d been able to avoid Duncan’s family, either not seeing them at all or passing by them on their way in and his way out, always saying he couldn’t stay longer because he had to get to work.

So when Jared opened the door to find Jensen standing there, he was more than a little surprised.

“Jensen! Um…what are you doing here? More questions for me?” Jensen coughed, looking down like he was maybe a bit embarrassed about his behavior from a few days ago.

“No, actually. I have an engagement present for you.”

“Oh. You, uh, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I didn’t, actually. It’s from my parents.”

“Oh.”

“So…should I bring it up?”

“Um…Jared hesitated, not really wanting Jensen to step foot inside his apartment, though he wasn’t exactly sure why. “You know what, why don’t we just bring it to Duncan’s apartment?”

“You don’t know what it is.”

“That’s okay. I mean, anything would look good in Duncan’s apartment.” _Because nothing is as ugly as what he already has in there_ , Jared added silently.

Jared locked up and Jensen led him down to the small moving truck parked across the street from his building. The drive to Duncan’s was silent once again, but this time it was comfortable, almost familiar. Jensen parked along the curb in front of Duncan’s place, pulling up just inches away from the bumper of the car in front of him.

“Hey,” Jared said, hopping out of the cab of the truck, “I think you might’ve parked too close.”

“Had too,” Jensen replied, rounding the side of the truck and meeting Jared in the back. “Gotta unload.” With that, he pushed the truck’s door up, revealing a beautiful wood rocking chair.

“Oh my god,” Jared breathed out. “Wow, Jensen, this is…this is great.” He jumped up onto the bed of the van to get a better look. Running his hands over the smooth wood, not a nick or bump to be felt, Jared could sense the effort and precision that went in to creating the chair.

“You like it?” Jensen asked, joining Jared in the truck.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Too bad,” Jensen said lightly, turning Jared around towards the back of the bed. “They actually got you the loveseat.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry,” Jared apologized, not wanting to seem ungrateful for the couch (which, okay, _was_ pretty ugly).

“Don’t be,” Jensen said. “I made that.” Jared spun back around to face Jensen, wide eyes looking from him to the rocking chair and back again.

“Holy crap, you made that? Really?”

“Yep.”

“No way!”

“Shocking, isn’t it?” Jensen asked jokingly, but something about the tone of his voice made it sound like he was a little insecure about Jared’s answer.

“Not really,” Jared said, looking Jensen in the eye. After all, he didn’t know much about Jensen, so why would he think Jensen could or couldn’t make something like that?

“Do you wanna sit in it?”

“Can I?”

“That’s what it’s made for.”

“Okay. Um…thanks.” Jared sat down, hands sliding over the arms of the chair, feet pushing against the floor to start a soft rocking motion. “It’s perfect,” he murmured, looking up at Jensen again, who was smiling proudly and blushing. Jared had to look away before he kept staring forever.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

With only a little huffing and puffing, they got the loveseat out of the truck and into the building, then into the elevator. It took a bit of maneuvering, but once it was in Duncan’s apartment, Jared admitted that it didn’t look too great. It definitely ruined the whole aesthetic going on there, but at least now there was a piece of furniture that Jared wasn’t afraid of sitting on and breaking. Jensen didn’t seem too interested in hanging around there, so they left and headed back downstairs immediately after getting the couch situated.

“Oh, no no no!” Jensen groaned, jogging towards his truck. “That asshole blocked me in!” The car that Jensen had parked in front of was now gone, replaced by a different one that had pulled up so close there was only about a foot of space between the van’s back bumper and the car’s front one.

“I told you not to park too close,” Jared said with a smirk.

“Shut up,” Jensen shot back, but there was no heat to it. They stood around for a minute before Jared broke the silence.

“So…I should probably head back.”

“What, and leave me here all alone?”

“I guess so.”

“Well, maybe I should walk you home. You know, for safety reasons.”

“Dude, I’m bigger than you,” Jared said indignantly.

“Not for you, for _me_. A city like this, a boy like me—”

“Fine, fine, as long as you don’t finish that sentence,” Jared grumbled, pretending to gag. Jensen laughed, loud and happy. It was the best laugh Jared had ever heard. “Well, come on then,” he said, setting off and not even looking to make sure Jensen was following. At least, not for ten whole seconds.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

The walk home was a long one, and that was without taking into account the ice, snow, wind, and general freezing-ness of it. They talked the whole way, Jensen asking more and more personal questions that Jared for once did not feel hesitant to answer. He returned the favor, asking Jensen about his father’s business and his own dreams. Jensen asked Jared about his family, and Jared only got a little sad when talking about his father, about all the plans they’d made to travel and see the world and how it never happened, it was all taken away too soon by one careless drunk driver. Jared showed Jensen his passport that he kept with him at all times, to remind him of his dreams. Jensen didn’t laugh, just looked at Jared with understanding.

For hours they joked, laughed, and laid themselves bare. Jared felt like the Jensen he had met a few days ago wasn’t here anymore, like that first awkward car ride and the rapid-fire questions in the hospital room had never happened.

When they got to Jared’s apartment, the whole walkway was covered in ice.

“Oh, wow. That’s gonna be fun,” Jared said, looking across the expanse.

“Nah, it won’t be too bad. Come on,” Jensen urged, stepping foot onto the ice. He made it about three steps before he started slipping around.

Jared hopped onto the ice without thinking, trying to keep Jensen from falling. Instead, he ended up slipping himself and landing against Jensen. They clung to each other, laughing and gasping as they made their way slowly through the treacherous landscape. They were almost too the safety of a patch of snow when Jared took a bad step and his feet flew out from underneath him. Of course, he was still hanging on to Jensen which meant he also crashed to the ground.

“Oh, fuck,” Jensen groaned.

“Shit, I’m sorry! Are you okay?”

“I think so, but my ass is so frozen I can’t really feel it anyways.” Jared cracked up at that, rolling around on the ice and knocking into Jensen.

“Told you I was a klutz. Pretty sure it was the first thing I said to you.” He only had to whisper, their faces were so close together. Too close, really, since Jared was supposed to be in love with Duncan. He _was_ in love with Duncan. Right? But he didn’t even _know_ Duncan. He knew Jensen, though. Maybe not in the way that two people who’ve known each other for years do, but in the way that they had confided in each other their secret fears and desires and more.

Still, Jared could recognize when something was a bad idea (well, barring the whole fake fiancé thing), and he rolled away from Jensen before anything had a chance of happening. Fuck, it wasn’t like he even knew if Jensen was gay. Probably not. _Not that it fucking matters, Jared_ , he scolded himself. He made it to the snow and reached out a hand, pulling Jensen up beside them. From there it was easy going.

“You don’t have to follow me anymore,” Jared said with a smile.

“Nah, you block the wind,” Jensen replied, making Jared laugh yet again. They trudged up to the door of the building and Jared turned around. It felt like he was on a first date and Jensen was dropping him off and they were both trying to figure out whether the other one wanted to kiss them. _Except that Jensen is probably more than likely straight and you are supposed to be in love with Jensen’s_ brother _, for fuck’s sake_ , his mind screamed at him.

“Thank you for walking back with me.”

“I had a really good time,” Jensen said, and Jared could see in his eyes that it was the truth.

“Goodnight, Jen,” Jared said, the nickname slipping out. Jensen just smiled brighter.

“G’night, Jay.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

The next day he ended up at the hospital at the same time as everyone else, and the family all ganged up on him to get him to come to dinner that night. Which was why Jared was sitting at a kitchen table with six other people he was kind of starting to love, witnessing the most ridiculous family meal he’d ever seen.

“So, Jared, have you and Duncan decided where you’re going on your honeymoon?” Maggie asked.

“I went to Cuba,” Clark said to no one and everyone.

“Ricky Ricardo was Cuban,” Bea jumped in.

“Didn’t Duncan look _great_ today?” Maggie said, ignoring the random conversations going on around her. Jared glanced up across the table and caught Jensen staring at him, a grin pulling at his lips from his family’s antics.

“Ah, that kid. Y’know, he should’ve been an actor,” Clark remarked.

“He’s tall,” Maggie said in agreement.

“All the great ones were tall,” Bob jumped in.

“Jared,” Maggie said, “you think you can find me a nice boy for Jensen?” Jared coughed and choked on the roll he’d just taken a bite of.

“Boy?” he croaked out, glancing at Jensen. He was looking down with particular intensity at his food, but Jared could still see the pink flush that crept up his neck and across his ears. Jared thought it was adorable, then remembered he wasn’t supposed to be thinking those things about _Duncan’s_ _brother_.

“Well, yes. Jensen’s gay, didn’t he tell you?” Maggie said in surprise.

“No.”

“Why would I tell him?

Jared and Jensen spoke at the same time. Jensen finally looked up, shooting a quick glance at Jared then looking away. Before anyone could say anything else on the topic, the other conversation happening at the table drew Jared’s attention.

“Alan Ladd wasn’t tall,” Clark said, looking at Bob.

“Marshall Dillon was six-foot-five,” Bob answered back.

“These mashed potatoes are so creamy,” Maggie commented.

“I could never make a good pot roast,” said Bea, before taking a bite of the roast on her plate.

“You need good beef,” said Clark. “Argentina has _great_ beef.” He paused then added, “Beef and Nazis.”

“John Wayne was tall,” Bob said.

“Dustin Hoffman was five-six,” said Clark

“Would you wanna see Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?” Bob joked, looking around the table. Jared tried to hold in a giggle, looking across the table again at Jensen, who was staring back at Jared with similar pursed lips and scrunched eyes.

“These mashed potatoes are _so_ creamy,” Maggie repeated, taking another bite.

“Spain has good beef,” said Clark.

“Erin mashed them,” said Maggie. Jensen’s pursed lips turned to a full-blown, slightly embarrassed grin.

“Cesar Romero was tall,” said Clark.

“Cesar Romero was not Spanish,” Bea said, pointing across the table at Clark.

“I didn’t say Cesar Romero was Spanish,” said Clark.

“Well what did you say?”

“I said Cesar Romero was tall.”

“We all know he’s tall,” Maggie said matter-of-fact.

“Well that’s what I said, Cesar Romero was tall,” replied Clark. “That’s all I said.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jared was chatting with Erin and Maggie as he was being walked to the door by the entire family.

“Yeah, definitely don’t call me if you ever need help with history,” Jared told Erin, thinking back to the slightly confusing conversation at dinner. Erin laughed and hugged him. Jared put on his coat and opened the front door just as Jensen came up to say goodbye.

“Hey, look, you guys. You’re under the mistletoe!” Erin said excitedly.

“That’s right!” Maggie agreed.

“Kiss him,” everyone chorused.

“It’s tradition,” Maggie said.

“Yeah, it’s tradition. Kiss him, you idiot!” Bea said in a joking tone to Jensen.

Jared looked over to the man beside him, the man who was shrugging and leaning toward him. The man who was most definitely not Jared’s (fake) fiancé. And yet, Jared realized that is was the man he actually wanted to kiss.

It was quick, a split-second longer than a peck but lips remained closed, tongues safely hidden inside their respective mouths. Jared couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed. Then he felt guilty for feeling disappointed. The family oohed and awed, like they were witnessing something cute and innocent and not the utter destruction of Jared’s entire being.

“So, you’ll come for New Year’s, right Jared?” Maggie asked.

“Y-yes,” Jared stuttered out, too caught up in the aftertaste of Jensen’s lips on his to even know what he was agreeing to.

“Okay, we’ll call you!” Bob said.

“Have a good night, dear,” Bea added.

Jared smiled and waved and pretended that his universe hadn’t just shifted, hadn’t been turned inside out and flipped upside down. He walked out the door and didn’t dare look back to see if Jensen was watching him. Jared didn’t think he’d be able to resist the temptation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch the original dinner scene from the movie [here](https://youtu.be/3MM52By6RHA). It's fucking hilarious.
> 
> Comments and kudos are ❤


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Um…” Jared hedged, thinking it was probably not the best idea. Because if Jensen walked him to the party then Jensen would probably end up being invited in. And if he was invited in, he’d stay. And Jared, well, he had planned on getting plastered tonight. And being drunk made Jared a little loose-lipped and unfiltered, and that was something he couldn’t afford to be around this man whom he’d told so many lies to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem...
> 
> This chapter is where the story deviates slightly (okay, a lot) from the movie...
> 
> Enjoy!

Jared opened the door and stood there for almost a full minute, gaping at the person in front of him.

“Can I come in?” the surprise visitor asked hesitantly. Jared nodded dumbly and stepped to the side, his brain taking a few more seconds to come back online.

“Jensen?” he asked as he closed the door. Jensen turned back around to face Jared. “Um, why are you here?” Jensen almost looked hurt at Jared’s question, but he schooled his features and Jared’s rare and momentary glimpse into Jensen’s emotions was gone.

“When you called and said you weren’t gonna make it to the party, the family was a little worried. So I offered to drop by and see if you were okay.”

Jared’s initial annoyance was muted by the realization of the overwhelming and all-encompassing _thoughtfulness_ of that family. Sure, Jared wanted to be able to decline an invitation without a search party coming to look for him, yet…these people, people who were complete strangers just a week ago, had opened their arms and their home to Jared, no questions asked. (Well, metaphorically speaking).

So Jared let the anger melt away as he looked Jensen over. He was wearing a puffy parka and a knit cap covered his hair; his cheeks were bright pink and his eyes looked a little watery.

“Jensen…why does it look like you walked here?” Jared asked, eyeing the slight shivers that Jensen was obviously trying to suppress.

“Uh, because I did?”

“You walked all the way here from your parents’ house? What the hell, Jen, that’s like seven miles! You got a death wish or something?!” Jared’s voice had gotten increasingly higher and squeakier, making him sound like a panicked, thirteen-year-old girl. He wasn’t actually _that_ panicked; Jensen was standing there, perfectly fine. No toes lost from frostbite or molars cracked from chattering teeth. He assumed.

“Dude, calm down,” Jensen said softly. “I do have my own place in the city, you know? I don’t actually live with my parents.” Jared paused in the process of heading towards the kitchen to make coffee or hot tea or something. He turned back to Jensen.

“Yeah, I…well, I guess that would make sense,” he said, feeling self-conscious about his overreaction.

“My apartment is only like a mile and a half from here, and I figured walking might be a little bit safer than driving tonight. Y’know, since it’s New Year’s Eve and all…” Jensen trailed off. Jared nodded silently, taking this information in. Jensen cleared his throat and changed the subject.

“So, you’re looking all nice and dressed up. You going out?” Jared looked down at his own clothes, tight black jeans and an even tighter black sweater. He blushed, realizing that before that night, Jensen had probably only seen him looking frumpy (and usually frazzled).

“Uh, yeah. Yes,” Jared replied, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. Seeing Jensen standing in his doorway had pushed everything else to the back of him mind; he’d almost forgotten he’d been about to go to a friend’s party.

“My coworker is throwing a party at her place. Just a few blocks from here.” Jared checked his watch, seeing that it was already past nine. “And I need to get going,” he added, picking up his coat and scarf from where he’d tossed them on the couch earlier. Jensen didn’t take the hint, though.

“Well, how about I walk you there?”

“Um…” Jared hedged, thinking it was probably not the best idea. Because if Jensen walked him to the party then Jensen would probably end up being invited in. And if he was invited in, he’d stay. And Jared, well, he had planned on getting plastered tonight. And being drunk made Jared a little loose-lipped and unfiltered, and that was something he couldn’t afford to be around this man whom he’d told so many lies to.

“Where’s your coworker live?”

“She’s four blocks east.”

“What a coincidence. That’s the same direction of my apartment,” Jensen said with a smirk, and Jared sighed, knowing that he’d lost the silent argument.

“Come on, then,” he grumbled, throwing his coat on and opening the door, ushering Jensen out.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“I like your scarf,” Jensen said, and Jared rolled his eyes at the attempt at small talk. “I’m serious, Jay. It’s really nice. Where’d you get it?” Jared looked over at Jensen to judge how serious he was being. Jensen reached out and pulled Jared to the side, narrowly avoiding a patch of ice that had not yet succumbed to the salt that had been laid down or the sun that had finally made an appearance that afternoon.

“Thanks,” Jared breathed out. Jensen nodded but the question remained in his eyes.

“You’re gonna laugh at me,” Jared said.

“Mmm. Maybe. But unless you stole it off a homeless person, I won’t _judge_ you.” And Jared didn’t need to look at Jensen this time to know he was being genuine.

“I’ll answer, but only if you’ll answer something for me, too.”

“Sounds fair.”

“You don’t know what my question is,” Jared pointed out.

“I trust you,” Jensen said lightly. Casually. Jared took a deep breath, the icy air almost painful in his lungs.

“I made it,” he admitted. “I like to crochet.”

“Wow, that’s actually kinda cool, Jay.”

“You’re not laughing.”

“Why, because you knit your own scarves?”

“ _Crochet_ ,” Jared stressed. “There’s a difference.”

“Is there?”

“Come watch me try to knit sometime and you’ll definitely be laughing then.”

“I just might do that.” Silence, and then, “So, you had a question for me?”

Hoping he wasn’t about to get punched, Jared took another deep breath and asked, “Have you told your dad that you want to quit the business? That you want to build furniture, not buy it from dead people to sell it to other people that’ll probably just die in the next five years?” Jensen inhaled sharply and stopped walking.

“I’ll have you know that at least a quarter of our customers are under the age of fifty!” he said indignantly. Jared just raised an eyebrow at him. “No,” Jensen deflated, “not yet.” Jared didn’t ask why; Jensen was able to interpret his silence just fine. “Look, it’s complicated.”

“It’s not, Jensen,” Jared said softly, “it’s just difficult. Those aren’t always mutually inclusive.” Because he knew complicated; hell, he _lived_ complicated. At least, for the last seven and a half days.

“Don’t be pedantic,” Jensen snapped, then closed his eyes and sighed. “Yes, it’s difficult, but it’s _also_ complicated.

“After Duncan graduated from college, he joined dad in the business. Two years later, I did the same. But a year after that, Duncan decided he wanted to be a lawyer so he left. From a technical standpoint, it wasn’t a big deal. Changing all the signs and business cards from ‘Ackles and Sons’ to ‘Ackles and Son’ wasn’t that expensive, and Duncan kind of messed around more than he actually did any work so it’s not like we lost someone, uh, _critical_ to the running of the company. But my dad didn’t handle it very well, felt like he’d let Duncan down. Like somehow his company wasn’t good enough for Duncan, wasn’t satisfying enough, and that was somehow his fault.

“I tried to explain that just because someone isn’t interested in doing something doesn’t make that something bad or worthless. It took awhile for my dad to let it go.”

“And now, if _you_ go, you’re worried he’ll be mad?” Jared asked.

“Hell, I’d be _thrilled_ if my dad only got angry. What I’m scared of is that he’ll go through all the same shitty feelings that he did when Duncan left, except it’ll be worse this time. It won’t be ‘Ackles and Son’ anymore, it’ll be just ‘Ackles.’”

They started walking again, and Jared let Jensen have a few minutes alone with his thoughts before he spoke.

“I might not know much about family, since it’s been awhile since I had any,” he said softly, a little sadness tinging his tone, “but I’m pretty sure that making yourself miserable so that someone else doesn’t get their feelings hurt is just going to end badly for everyone. I mean, if your dad really knew how much this was twisting you up inside, do you honestly think he wouldn’t be more upset about _that_?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Jensen muttered, looking at the ground. Jared grabbed his arm.

“Your dad’s a good guy. He’s…he’s amazing, even if his dinner conversations are a little weird,” Jared chuckled. “But from what I can see, he cares more about your happiness than his pride. Give him a chance to show you that.” Jensen shrugged and then sighed, nodding his head.

Jared turned the towards the building they’d stopped in front of.

“We’re here. Be nice.”

“I’m always nice,” Jensen grumbled. Jared just shook his head and smiled.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Two hours into the party, Jensen had slipped away from Jared. Jared refilled his cup with spiked punch and stumbled his way through the crowded apartment, looking for him. He found Jensen on the patio, the frigid air seemingly not affecting Jensen thanks to all the alcohol running through his veins. He was laughing with another guy, and as he reached out to put a hand on the guy’s shoulder, jealousy spiked deep in Jared’s gut.

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat and the two men looked over at Jared, Jensen’s hand immediately dropping away from the other guy.

“Jay,” Jensen slurred. Wow, he was sloshed. “Where ya been?”

“Jus’ around,” Jared slurred back. Okay, maybe he was pretty wasted as well. “’s almost midnight,” Jared continued, and Jensen’s eyebrows shot up.

“Who’m I gonna kiss?” he asked, sounding like a little kid. The guy standing next to him—Jared was pretty sure he’d seen him before, but couldn’t recall a name—looked at Jensen hopefully.

“Uh--uhm,” Jared stammered.

“You?” Jensen asked.

“Me?” Jared squeaked.

“Yeah, Jay. Ya gotta kiss an Ackles at midnight and I’m the only one around.”

“Wha?” Jared stood there, stunned. The third guy slipped silently around them, a disappointed look on his face as he made his way back inside. Partygoers had begun the countdown, and with each shouted number, Jensen stepped closer and closer to Jared. By the time they’d reached ‘One!’, Jared and Jensen were standing toe to toe, breaths ghosting across each other’s cheeks.

“Happy New Year!” everyone cried out, and for the second time ever Jared felt Jensen’s lips press against his. When he didn’t pull back, Jensen leaned in harder, causing Jared to gasp and open his mouth. Jensen took the opportunity to slide his tongue in, getting a better taste of Jared. A car backfired close by and Jared jumped back, snapped out of the haze.

“I gotta go,” he muttered, ripping the door open and barreling inside, barely pausing to grab his coat.

“Jay!” he heard Jensen call, but he didn’t stop. As he hurried down the stairs, he heard feet trampling behind him. He slammed outside, skidding on the sidewalk.

“Jared,” he heard as the door open again. “I’m sorry!”

“I’m not mad!” Jared yelled, turning around to face Jensen. “I’m not mad,” he repeated, all the fight going out of him.

“Then why’d you run away?” Jensen looked hurt and confused and Jared hated himself for it. He shook his head sadly and started walking back home. Jensen trailed after him the whole way, staying two steps behind Jared and not speaking again until they got to Jared’s building. Jared looked back at Jensen and froze.

“What the hell, where’s your coat?” Jensen shrugged through the shivers wracking his body.

“Forgot to grab it before I ran after you.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jared said, the words holding no heat. “Come on. I’m not letting you walk back to your place like that.”

“Th—thanks,” Jensen chattered. “I’m s—sorry.”

“So am I,” Jared murmured to himself, letting them inside.

Jared was glad to see that Jensen stopped shivering just a few minutes after they were inside. He kind of dreaded having to take Jensen to the hospital for hypothermia or something. Because he was pretty sure Bob and Maggie might not be so fond of him if he showed up in the ER a _second_ time with their _second_ child.

“So why’d you run, if you weren’t mad?” Jensen asked, determined to get the answer. Jared sighed in frustration.

“It doesn’t matter. Just drop it, okay?” He was sitting on an overstuffed armchair drinking a coffee while Jensen was on the couch, wrapped in three blankets and sipping his own drink.

“No. You kinda freaked out.”

“I freaked out because I stormed off? If that’s what you think freaking out looks like, well, you need to get out more.” It was Jensen’s turn to sigh.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m getting a beer.” Jared stood up, ignoring Jensen’s statement and stumbling to the fridge, grabbing a whole six pack before sinking back down into the chair. He popped open the first one and downed half of it in one long chug.

“You gonna share with the class?” Jensen asked, and Jared tossed one to him. He was pretty sure neither of them needed to be drinking any more that night, but he also didn’t care. They sat in silence while the sound of happy, drunk people and occasional fireworks drifted in through the window.

“You okay?” Jensen finally spoke.

“Yeah, peachy,” Jared croaked, opening his third beer. He’d lost some of his buzz from the rush of adrenaline when he’d run out of the party and the ensuing walk home in the cold, but it was back now and stronger than before.

“Why’d you run, Jay?” Jensen asked softly. Jared shook his head and took a drink. “Why’d you run?”

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

“No.”

“Jay. Why?”

“Shut up!” Jared growled, springing off the chair and practically pouncing on Jensen. “You wanna know why? _This_ is why.” He attacked Jensen’s mouth, throwing the blankets off so that he could run his hands over Jensen’s body.

It had only been a week but already he was sick and tired of lying to all these people who were so willing to love him.

He was tired of lying to himself.

Jensen gave back as good as he got.

Just a few minutes later, Jared found himself naked, pushed down onto his bed by an equally-naked Jensen.

“Fuck,” Jared breathed.

“That’s the idea,” Jensen smirked. Jared whimpered and grabbed Jensen’s wrist, pulling him down on top of him.

“Do it,” Jared hissed right before Jensen shut him up with another searing kiss. Jared reached blindly towards his nightstand, opening the top drawer and rummaging around until his fingers found the bottle of lube. He grabbed it and shoved it at Jensen, who took it and immediately popped the cap open.

Things moved even faster after that, both of them too ramped up to bother with much foreplay. Before he knew it, Jared had three of Jensen’s fingers up his ass and he was whining incessantly, begging for more.

“You got condoms?” Jensen sounded just as strung out as Jared felt.

“No.” Jensen stilled, pulling back at Jared’s answer.

“Jay…”

“I’m clean,” Jared whispered, just wanting Jensen back in him.

“When’d you have time to get tested in the last week?” Jensen asked. It was the closest either had come to mentioning or even alluding to Duncan. Jared blushed.

“I didn’t—I mean, we haven’t—”

“You…haven’t had sex?” Jared shook his head. “Wait, like _ever_?”

“What?” Jared sat up, glaring at Jensen. “I’m not a virgin, Jensen. I just haven’t done anything, you know, _recently_.”

“How recently?” Jared rolled his eyes and flopped back down before answering.

“I dunno, like two years?”

“So you never—”

“ _No_ ,” Jared interrupted. “We haven’t.” Jensen growled deep in his throat before blanketing Jared’s body with his own. It was protective and possessive and Jared had never been so turned on. He was expecting Jensen to start fingering him again, but instead he felt a blunt pressure against his hole that was _much_ bigger than fingers.

“Oh, _god_ ,” he cried as Jensen pushed in slowly. “Fuck, Jen!”

“Too fast?” Jensen asked, concern obvious.

“Jus’…give me a minute,” Jared panted. Jensen obliged, not moving his muscles except to lean down and kiss Jared, trying to take his mind of the intense fullness. He lifted up and looked Jared in the eyes, a small smile playing at his lips.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, so quiet Jared almost didn’t hear it over the pounding of his own blood. Then Jensen lifted a hand and brushed back a sweaty lock of Jared’s hair.

Jared knew, and had known from the beginning, that they shouldn’t be doing this, that they were both really drunk and that they _wouldn’t_ be doing this if they were sober. And yet, he couldn’t stop it. He didn’t _want_ to stop it. Laying there, staring up at Jensen whose eyes were shining brightly, his hand continuing to run through Jared’s hair, well, Jared thought that maybe, just maybe, there would still be something there even when the alcohol was gone.

“Keep going,” he pleaded, and Jensen immediately pushed in farther, kept going until he was flush to Jared’s ass. He groaned and Jared squeezed his muscles even tighter, just to see Jensen’s reaction. His eyes rolled back in his head and he actually mewled.

“Jay, fuck, you feel so fucking good.”

“Jen…” was all Jared could get out before Jensen pulled out and slammed back in, Jared’s breath whooshing out from the force. “Fuck!” he cried out as Jensen kept going, hitting his prostate dead-on with every thrust.

Then, unexpectedly, Jensen slowed down to a near stop, burying himself as deep as possible and just rocking against Jared. This allowed him to lay on top of Jared so that every part of them was touching. Jared only had to lift his head slightly to reach Jensen’s lips. Jensen kissed softly this time, almost lovingly. He slid his hands up the bed until they reached Jared’s, tangling their fingers together and squeezing lightly in rhythm with their rocking.

Jared had originally wanted fast and hard, but this deep and slow thing that Jensen was doing was setting his body on fire.

“Mmm,” he hummed into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen lifted up just a fraction, still close enough that his lips brushed against Jared’s. “Jen…gonna come.”

“Come for me, baby.”

“Wan’ you to come,” he said breathlessly.

“I will,” Jensen said, “I promise.” His next rocking thrust was even more forceful, and he lifted up onto his knees, holding Jared’s torso and bringing him up too so that he was straddling Jensen. Jared sunk down onto Jensen, farther than before, and Jensen thrust up once, twice, and Jared came hard.

“Jen Jen Jen,” he chanted as he painted their chests white.

“Oh my god, Jay, you—you’re so tight!” Jensen grunted as Jared constricted around him. “Fuck! Jared!” he yelled out as he came. Jared could feel Jensen filling him up, warm and wet and even fuller than before.

He slumped against Jensen’s chest and Jensen lowered them both gently back down to the mattress.

“You okay, baby?” he asked, repeating the term of endearment he’d used to get Jared to come. Jared sighed loudly in content. He could feel his release on his stomach drying uncomfortably, and Jensen’s come leaking out of his hole just felt odd. But not unpleasant, he realized. He didn’t feel like moving, the night’s alcohol consumption and ensuing orgasm acting like a sleeping pill on his exhausted mind and body, dragging him to unconsciousness.

“I…” Jensen whispered, but Jared fell asleep before he could hear the rest.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

If Jared had one magical power, it was the ability to never get hangovers, no matter how wasted he’d gotten. Jensen, apparently, did not have this power, and he let Jared know—loudly—the next morning, groaning and grumbling as the sunlight reached over the skyscrapers and poured into Jared’s apartment.

“Turn it off,” Jensen growled.

“Can’t, babe, it’s the sun,” Jared replied. The ‘babe’ had just slipped out, an unconscious remnant of the night before. Jensen froze, which made Jared freeze.

“Fuck,” Jensen muttered to himself, but Jared still heard it. His heart sank and he dreaded what was about to happen. Jensen rolled over, eyes squinting in the brightness as he looked at Jared. He let out a deep sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god.”

“Huh?” Jared said, confused at the whiplash.

“I thought…nevermind,” Jensen grumbled, and Jared realized that ‘grumbling’ must have been Jensen’s natural state before noon and three cups of coffee.

“You okay?” Jared asked hesitantly.

“Oh, terrific, minus the drums in my head and the blinding light.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Not your fault,” Jensen soothed. “Well, it wouldn’t hurt you to get some curtains.” Jared chuckled, enjoying the morning-after teasing. He’d thought…well, he wasn’t sure what he’d thought. That it would be awkward at best; at worst, that Jensen would jump ship in the middle of the night while Jared was asleep.

“Look, Jen,” Jared started, feeling a little guilty that they’d actually slept together. Not because he was supposed to be engaged to Duncan (it was fake, after all, and at this point Jared definitely had no intentions of going through with anything), but because he’d had sex with Jensen when half of what Jensen knew about him was a complete lie.

He was interrupted from his confession by the phone ringing on his nightstand. He let it go to voicemail but it immediately started ringing again.

“Just answer it,” Jensen mumbled, using the pillow to try and block out the noise. Jared rolled his eyes but smiled; Jensen was really fucking cute when he was sleep-rumpled and grouchy.

He checked the phone and saw that it was Maggie.

“It’s your mom,” he told Jensen, who popped his head out from under the pillow as Jared answered the phone.

“Hello? Maggie?”

“Jared, it’s Duncan! He’s awake!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make my world go round!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared wanted to explain, but explaining would mean he’d have to reveal all of his lies to Jensen, and he had a feeling right now would _not_ be the best time for that. But Jared wasn’t going down to the hospital for Duncan; he was doing it for the guy’s family. They’d changed Jared’s life irrevocably this last week, and they deserved to hear the truth. Now that Duncan was awake—and now that Jared had slept with Jensen and essentially fucked everything up—he knew that it was time for the ruse to end.

“Jared? Are you there?” Maggie’s voice could still be heard as the phone slipped from Jared’s fingers, bouncing safely on the mattress. He looked up at Jensen who was staring back at him with equally wide eyes.  A few seconds later, Jensen’s phone began to ring. He answered it automatically, not even looking at the screen first.

“H-hello?”

“Jensen, honey, it’s your mom.” Maggie was obviously exciting and talking so loudly that Jared could hear her clearly even though she wasn’t on speaker. “Jensen, Duncan woke up!”

“Okay.” Jensen rasped.

“Are you okay? You sound…”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay, good. Can you get to the hospital? And can you stop by Jared’s place? I just called him but the call cut out and I want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Yeah, I’ll stop by Jared’s,” he replied, voice cracking on the last word. He was looking Jared squarely in the face as he said this but his expression was blank, emotionless.

“Thanks, honey. See you soon!” Jensen hung up without saying goodbye and they stared at each other a little longer.

“Jensen, I, um… I should probably go down there,” Jared finally said, biting his lips nervously. Jensen didn’t reply, just immediately rolled out of bed and began searching for his clothes, not once looking back at Jared.

Jared wanted to explain, but explaining would mean he’d have to reveal all of his lies to Jensen, and he had a feeling right now would _not_ be the best time for that. But Jared wasn’t going down to the hospital for Duncan; he was doing it for the guy’s family. They’d changed Jared’s life irrevocably this last week, and they deserved to hear the truth. Now that Duncan was awake—and now that Jared had slept with Jensen and essentially fucked everything up—he knew that it was time for the ruse to end.

Jared climbed out of bed and began dressing, his nakedness now making feeling utterly exposed to Jensen, both literally and figuratively. He tried to think of something to say, something comforting or reassuring to the person Jared was kinda stupidly in love with, person that was about to walk out the door and most likely never look back. He cleared his throat to catch Jensen’s attention, though Jensen still didn’t acknowledge his presence.

“Jensen, I need to sort some stuff out. A lot of stuff, actually. And your family, Duncan, they—”

“It’s fine, Jared,” Jensen muttered. “I get it.” _No,_ Jared thought, _I really don’t think you do._

“Look, Jen, it’s complicated—”

“No, Jared, it’s not. It’s just difficult,” he cut in, throwing Jared’s words from the night before back in his face. But while Jared had been trying to help last night, Jensen was using them to hurt. And fuck, they did the job. He finished tying his shoes and moved towards the door, fishing his coat out of the tiny closet next to the entrance. “And don’t call me that.”

“What?” Jared asked, his stomach dropping and heart squeezing painfully.

“My name is Jen _sen_.” And with that, he flung the door open and stomped out, slamming it shut behind him.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jensen’s reaction was predictable; Jared really should’ve seen it coming. But those first lazy minutes that morning, after they’d woken up and before Maggie had called, had lulled him into a false sense of security, so to speak. He’d figured that Jensen would be angry about Jared lying to everyone, obviously, but had hoped that maybe he’d be a bit understanding as well. Because Jared hadn’t done that on purpose; it was just a huge misunderstanding, one Jared had tried to set straight multiple times right from the start.

Of course, Jared was to blame for continuing it after that, as there had been plenty of opportunities to come clean. But not being lonely for the first time in more than eight years had been intoxicating, devastating in the best way. And he hoped that the family would somehow understand that, would understand that Jared had done none of this out of malice, that he’d never wanted or intended to hurt them in any way. Not purposefully. Even though he was about to.

He took the train to the hospital and slowly made his way inside. Christmas day has started out horrifically and ended up being one of the best days of his life; he had a feeling that New Year’s Day would be the worst one.

He made it just inside the hospital entrance, a large open space that hosted the information desk, the gift shop, and the cafeteria, before his courage ran out. He started pacing, back and forth and around the space. He was sure he looked like a madman to the people walking past him, but nobody said anything, not until he heard, “Jared?”

He looked up in surprise and found himself face to face with Clark.

“Oh. Hey,” Jared replied. He knew he sounded dejected, didn’t even bother trying to hide it.

“You okay?” Jared shrugged. No, he absolutely was _not_ okay. “Freaked out because Duncan’s awake?”

“Why would I be freaked out? I should be--I _am_ happy. Relieved that he’s okay,” Jared mumbled.

“Uh huh,” Clark eyed him, and he shifted under the gaze, “but now that he’s awake, you’ll have to break it to everyone that you’re not actually his fiancé.” Jared looked up sharply.

“Wha—no—how—” he sputtered. Okay, now he really _was_ freaking out.

“Breathe, Jared. I’m not mad. I overheard you that first night in the hospital, when you were pouring your heart out to Duncan. I heard the truth. I don’t know why I didn’t confront you right then and there, but…you seemed so lonely. And it was obviously an accident, what happened, and you were really sweet to everyone, once you stopped being so shy.” Clark chuckled and Jared just stared at him, mouth hanging open. Clark shrugged. “I figured, couldn’t hurt to see what happened, at least for a few days, y’know? But you—you brought this family together.” Jared snorted.

“I doubt that. Your family is amazing, it’s obvious how close they already were. I could tell from the beginning.”

“We used to be. I mean, I’m not technically part of the family, not by blood at least. I live next door to Bob and Maggie, have since before even Duncan was born. I’m all the kids’ godfather, always been fond of the little monsters. And ten years ago when my wife died, Bob and Maggie really helped me through that. After that, I was as good as family to them.” He shrugged again, as if that explained everything.

“I’m not sure…” _how that has anything to do with me_ , Jared started to say, but it sounded a bit brash, especially after what Clark had just confessed. But apparently, Clark understood.

“Everyone had started to drift. I want to think it was only recently, but it probably started longer ago than anybody wants to admit. Duncan leaving the business to go to law school was a huge sore spot for both Bob and Jensen. Bob because he felt like he’d let Duncan down, and Jensen because he felt abandoned, I think. Also, it brought the realization that maybe he didn’t have to carry on the family business, but now that Duncan was gone it fell to him, and so I also think that made him a little bitter.

“Duncan pulled away, especially after he finished school. He and Jensen used to be best friends, even though they are two years apart. They had a lot of the same friends in school and growing up, and they hung out together by choice, even when they didn’t have to. They fought, obviously, and they messed with each other a lot, pranks and stuff, but it was never mean. They had really similar interests, but once Duncan went off to college, he started to change. At first everyone just viewed it as him growing up, the change a natural one.

“Still, things were never the same between him and Jensen after that. And then once Duncan became a lawyer, started making big money…well, his lifestyle changed, and his personality seemed to along with it. Honestly, I think the family was less surprised about Duncan being engaged to you and more surprised about how wonderful you are. The last person—girl—he introduced us to…horrible.

“Anyways, after that Jensen started to pull away a bit, too. He started making furniture, and I could tell he loved it, but his loyalty to his father was too strong and he stayed with the company, slowly starting to resent it all.

“And Erin hit her teenage years and of course, she wanted to spend time with friends, not her embarrassing family.” Clark paused to take a breath. “What I’m saying is, Duncan’s accident brought us together physically; you brought us together in every other way. It’s only been a week, but the entire family has spent more time together in these last eight days than they have in the last six months combined, and it’s all because of _you_.”

Jared had started to tear up by this point, Jensen’s story hitting him especially hard and then finding out that he had apparently affected this family as much as they had him. And now he was about to break their hearts.

“I don’t…what are you saying, Clark?”

“I’m saying, you can’t tell them the truth.”

“What?! Clark—”

“I’m serious, Jared.”

“Right, and what exactly do you think is going to happen when Duncan sees me and has no idea who I am?” Jared asked sarcastically.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Clark answered calmly, “but the very least you owe everyone—and yourself—is to go up there and see the person whom you are supposedly engaged to. And who knows,” he added with a smirk, “he might just end up falling in love with you.”

“I don’t—” _I don’t_ want _him to fall in love with me_ , Jared almost said. He growled in frustration, running his hands through his hair and tugging at it anxiously. “Fine. Fine, you’re right. I can’t just… _disappear_ on everyone.”

“Good boy,” Clark said, grinning and ruffling Jared’s hair affectionately. Jared batted his hand away good-naturedly, but the truth was the last person to touch Jared’s hair had been Jensen, and for some reason he wanted to preserve that for as long as possible.

Resigned to his fate, he trailed after Clark to the elevators and rode his way up to the second floor—and his doom. The ride was much too short for Jared, and a minute later they were walking down the hall to Duncan’s room. Jared entered nervously behind Clark, trying and failing to hide behind him.

“Jared!” Erin whispered excitedly, throwing herself against him as he caught her in a hug.

“Hey, munchkin,” Jared said quietly, his voice shaking slightly. He was going to miss this, so damn much.

“Duncan’s sleeping, we were waiting to wake him up ‘til everyone got here,” she explained. Jared nodded and looked around, taking note of who all was there. The only person still missing was Jensen, and Jared’s fear spiked, worried that Jensen wouldn’t come. Or worse, he _would_ come, and then spill the beans about their little rendezvous the previous night.

Because the Ackles family knowing Jared had lied? Not good. The Ackles family thinking Jared had cheated on his comatose fiancé with said fiancé’s brother? DEFCON one. Nuclear war imminent.

Jensen entered the room, shooting a quick glance at Jared before moving to the opposite wall. Jared tried not to stare, tried to focus on the problem at hand and not how the hell he was going to explain everything to Jensen without the guy completely hating him.

They all crowded around the end of the bed, Jensen on the side nearest the wall and Jared on the other end with Clark next to him, his solid presence the only thing stopping Jared’s escape. Maggie reached down and shook Duncan’s leg slowly. He blinked his eyes opened and they looked a bit cloudy, like he was still hopped up on a few drugs. All Jared could think about how he wished he was looking at green eyes instead of blue.

Duncan looked around blearily, finally focusing on Jensen. Jensen gave his brother a small smile, and Duncan turned his head to look at the next person, Bob. Bob smiled brightly and nodded his head in encouragement. Down the line Duncan went, never saying anything, never really acknowledging anyone. When he got towards the end, Jared plastered a fake smile on his face and held his breath. Again, Duncan said nothing, just stared at Jared for a second before turning his head to Clark. But then…

Duncan’s head whipped back to Jared and his eyebrows furrowed. Jared tried to keep eye contact but couldn’t help breaking it for a split-second to flick his eyes towards the door.

“Who—who’s he?” Duncan asked, voice rough from not being used for more than a week. Jared made a strangled sound in his throat; now was the time of reckoning. He was about to break down, just put everything on the table, but he didn’t get the chance.

“My god,” Bob exclaimed, “he’s got amnesia!”

Maggie let out a gasp and Duncan looked around in confusion for a moment before his eyes rolled back and he slumped against the bed in a faint.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

The family was ushered out into the waiting room, and after a lot of loud and nearly-hysteric questions, the doctor was able to quiet everyone down and explain the basics of acute amnesia, often known as selective amnesia. A few minutes later, a nurse stuck his head into the room.

“Excuse me, doctor? Duncan is up again.” The family immediately followed the doctor back to Duncan’s room, and Jared pulled Clark aside.

“Clark!”

“Okay, this is good, right?”

“No, it’s _not_ good! Now everyone thinks he’s has amnesia when he doesn’t!”

“Jared, just…hang in there a little longer, okay? It’s been an emotional day and I don’t think the family can handle another bombshell.” Jared rolled his eyes but didn’t argue, just followed Clark back to the room.

“How you feeling, champ?” Bob asked Duncan, who was looking quite a bit more lucid.

“I—I don’t know,” he said, but he was smiling slightly. Jared accidentally knocked into a random table, gracefully announcing his return.

“Hey,” Jensen said, glancing up to Jared then back down to Duncan, “remember him?” Duncan’s smile faltered.

“Should I?” he murmured.

“Look closely,” urged Bob. Duncan looked back to Jared.

“He…looks a little familiar. Why?”

“I think it’s coming back!” Bob said.

“I think so!” Maggie agreed with a grin.

“W—what’s coming back? Tell me. Tell me!” Duncan said, looking a little panicked.

“You have amnesia,” Maggie said softly.

“I do?!”

“Peter,” Bea said, “you’re engaged!”

“To who?”

“To Jared,” Erin jumped in.

“Jared? Who’s Jared?” Everyone’s smiled drooped and Jared groaned internally.

“You don’t remember, do you?” Maggie asked, trying to hide her disappointment. Duncan just looked around in confusion.

“Excuse me,” the nurse from earlier appeared with a tray, “I got some jello for you.”

“Do I like jello?” Duncan whispered to himself. Jared silently groaned again.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

They stayed at the hospital well into the evening, though Duncan slept most of the time. Jared wished that he hadn’t been given they day off; at least then he would’ve had a legitimate excuse for not hanging around. As it happened, Maggie insisted that Jensen drive Jared home when they were all getting ready to leave. Jensen couldn’t exactly retract the invitation without either looking like a jerk or explaining what had happed, which it appeared that he had no interest in doing. Jared was thankful for that, at least.

The drive home was silent, tension thicker than even the first time Jensen had driven Jared anywhere. No words were spoken until Jensen pulled up to the curb right outside Jared’s building. Jared turned to him, feeling the need to say _something_ , believing that at this point, he couldn’t make it any worse.

“Look, Jensen. You’ve been…really great this week.” Jensen finally looked at Jared, really looked at him for the first time since they’d gotten the news about Duncan’s return to the land of the living.

“Right,” he scoffed, “like when I accused you of lying. Or when I accused you of having a relationship with Tina. Or when I—god, when I _slept_ with you even though you were wasted. I don’t even—Jared, I’m not even sure if you—”

“Jensen!” Jared interrupted, not wanting to hear where Jensen was going with this. “It’s _…” It’s fine?_ Not really. _It was a mistake?_ Definitely not, although Jared desperately wished it’d happened under different circumstances. Finally, he settled on, “It’s my fault. And I understand if you h—hate me,” he stuttered hopelessly.

“Jared…”

“Look, I think…y’know, things might be a little different now,” Jared said sadly. He knew he was pushing his luck, but he needed to see if Jensen really did hate him. “I just want you to know that, well, you’ve become a really great friend.”

Jensen’s smile was small and sad, and he just nodded silently while Jared opened the door and stepped down out of the truck. He shut the door but then the window rolled down, Jensen leaning across the seats.

“Jared, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Jared whispered. He wasn’t sure if Jensen heard him or not, but he figured that it probably didn’t matter. Things were shot to shit and it was all Jared’s fault, and his future looked even dimmer than it had before. Because he’d now had a taste of family, an inkling of what it was to truly love someone, and sooner rather than later he was going to lose it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are my sustenance.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Clark, I wanted you to tell Duncan the truth, not convince him that he’s my fiancé!”
> 
> “But isn’t this better? Now everybody’s happy.”
> 
> “Clark.”
> 
> “Yeah?”
> 
> “You’re fired,” Jared said angrily before hanging up.

Jared went down to the hospital two days later because, well, he wasn’t a _total_ ass. Sure, he might have screwed up when he…screwed Jensen. But it wasn’t like he’d ever had any intention of seeing this thing through once Duncan was awake. Plus, Clark had called Jared and told him it might be a good time to go down there. He’d said that he’d buttered Duncan up a little, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. But there was something in his tone that was screaming at Jared that this wasn’t all on the up-and-up.

Jared went anyways, determined not to make more of a mess of this whole thing than it already was. But—and he seemed to be doing quite a lot of lately—he failed.

Duncan had the bed in its sitting position and he was watching the small TV in the corner of the room.

“H-hey, Duncan,” Jared said, coughing as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

“Jared! Come in!” Duncan waved him inside and Jared entered hesitantly. But Duncan looked so happy to see him, a complete one-eighty from his blank stare from two days before. He walked slowly to the chair closest to Duncan’s bed and sat down gingerly, trying to fold in on himself until he somehow became invisible.

“Would you like a sandwich?” Duncan offered, motioning to the food tray on the table on the other side of his bed. His earnest expression almost made him look like a little kid, and Jared relaxed a fraction.

“No, no, thank you. Um, can I get you anything?”

“I wish I had my own clothes,” Duncan replied with a pout.

“Well, I like your, uh, pinstripe,” Jared said, recalling the quick glance he’d gotten of Duncan’s wardrobe when he’d checked the closet for the cat last week.

“Double breasted?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah, that’s my favorite too!”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Duncan replied, nodding his head. His smile was genuine, which confused Jared. Where was the guy who hated comfortable furniture and shut his family out after law school and owned a cat?

“I, uh, saw a picture of you. When you saved the three squirrels?” Jared said, thinking about the photo album that had made an appearance the first time Jared had gone to the Ackles house. He was told the story of how Duncan had thrown a rock at a squirrel’s nest, causing the tiny babies to fall out of the tree. Feeling bad, he’d immediately saved them and put them back where they belonged.

“They never call, they never write,” Duncan joked with a dramatic shake of his head. “Course that was a long time ago.”

“I guess we don’t get to do many heroic things as an adult.”

“Ah, that’s for sure. But you do, though!”

“Oh, no. Jumping in front of that train was unusual, trust me.”

“I don’t think I’ve done anything truly heroic my whole life,” Duncan said with a frown. “Oh, I chased a purse snatcher once.”

“Well that’s something.”

“I pretended to pull a hamstring.”

“Oh. Well…most guys wouldn’t have chased after in the first place. I work at the L, believe me, I know.” Jared paused, studying Duncan. The guy looked almost ashamed. Jared ransacked his thoughts, trying to come up with something that would make Duncan feel a little better.

“You give up your seat every day on the train,” he finally said, his smile growing as he remembered the first day he noticed Duncan doing this. At the time, it had just reinforced the whole white knight-image of the beautiful stranger.

“Well…” Duncan waved it off, “that’s not heroic.” Jared shook his head.

“It is to the person who sits in it. I mean, you always gave _me_ something to look forward to every day.” It was the sad truth. Some days when Jared didn’t want to get out of bed, just hoped he’d lay there until he died, the thought of seeing Duncan’s face was the only thing that dragged him to his feet.

They kept talking, getting to know all the little thing about one another, things that Duncan had thought he’d just forgotten but that Jared knew had never been shared in the first place.

On his way out of the hospital, he got a call from Clark.

“Clark! What the hell was that?”

“What d’you mean?”

“What do I mean? Seriously? Clark, I thought you were going to talk to Duncan!”

“I did!”

“And what exactly did you say?”

“I told him that he’s a putz and that you’re the best thing to ever happen to him, and he’d be stupid to turn you down.”

“WHAT?” Jared screeched, causing the people passing him on the sidewalk to turn and look. “What,” he hissed quietly, “the fuck? _Why did you say that?_ ”

“What do you mean, why’d I say that?”

“Clark, I wanted you to tell Duncan the truth, not convince him that he’s my fiancé!”

“But isn’t this better? Now everybody’s happy.”

“Clark.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re fired,” Jared said angrily before hanging up.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Two days later, Jared went to visit Duncan again, determined to break the news this time.

“Hey, you’re looking good,” he said as he entered the room. Duncan had been moved from the ICU to a more comfortable room on the fourth floor. He had some color back in his cheeks and the twinkle back in his eyes that Jared used to melt over every day he saw it. But that was then.

“I feel really good,” Duncan said, then kept going, not leaving a second for Jared to break in with the truth. “You know what? Facing death makes a man evaluate his life. I’ve been thinking about mine and I haven’t like what I’ve seen. I’ve seen a man who has courtside tickets to the Bulls, a lucrative investment portfolio…” as Duncan rambled, Jared began pacing anxiously, “…an apartment on La Rue de Faubourg, Saint-Honoré—”

“Huh?”

“Paris.”

“Oh.”

“But I’ve also seen a man who has no one to trust. No one to have a son with. You were there when I needed someone the most. You gave me a second chance at life. Hell, it took a _coma_ to wake me up. My family loves you, _I_ might as well love you. Jared Tristan Padalecki…will you marry me?”

Jared was about to say no when there was a gasp and crash behind him. He turned to find Marie, the nurse who’d been the source of this entire misunderstanding, passed out on the floor.

“Oh, shit,” Jared said, turning towards the nurse then back to Duncan, who was looking at him expectantly. _Fuck fuck fuck_ , Jared thought, turning back to Marie again.

“Jared?” Duncan called out.

“Yes?” Jared replied.

“Yes? You’re saying yes?! Oh, thank god, Jared! Thank you!”

“Wait—no—” Jared was cut off by two more nurses arriving to help Marie, his voice once again getting lost in the shuffle of confusion.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Duncan had fallen asleep soon after, exhausted from the day’s activities and emotions, so Jared left the hospital with his fake fiancé now believe that their engagement was real.

All night, he told himself that he would come clean tomorrow.

The next day, as Bob took him out to find a rental tux, Jared told himself he would come clean that night.

The day after that, when Maggie and Erin showed up at his work with a small stack of printed wedding invitations, Jared told himself he would come clean when he got off work.

That night, as Jared slipped into his tux jacket to choose a tie, he told himself that he would come clean the next morning, before the wedding.

Jared was choking on the truth, feeling it kill him slowly from the inside. He knew that one minute of explaining would wipe the disease from his body, yet that one minute seemed to weigh ten tons, and Jared couldn’t move it off his chest.

A knock on his door caused him to jump in surprise, his guilt making him constantly on edge. He inched the door open and peered between the sliver to find Jensen standing there, red-rimmed eyes obviously not caused by the cold.

“Jensen?”

“A few days ago you told me you wanted us to be friends. Does that offer still stand?”

“Yes, of course! Come in!” Jared opened the door fully and ushered Jensen inside, pulling his coat off and stuffing it in the closet. “Come on, sit down. Are you okay?” Jensen sat down heavily on the couch, head cradled in his hands.

“’m fine.”

“Uh huh.” Jared eyed him skeptically. “Not to be blunt, Jensen, but I have a feeling you didn’t come all the way over here to _not_ talk about whatever’s bothering you.” Jensen looked up.

“You don’t call me Jen anymore.” Jared ground his teeth.

“You told me not to.” Jensen just nodded and looked back down. Jared sat next to him and rubbed a comforting hand along his back.

“J—Jen?” Jensen leaned sideways into Jared’s warmth, remaining silent. “Are you drunk?” Jensen choked out a laugh.

“Not even a little bit.”

Without telling it to, Jared’s hand was sliding up Jensen’s back and into his hair, alternation scratching lightly at his scalp and tugging gently on the short, spiky strands. Jensen was practically purring, and Jared didn’t like where this was going. Well, he _did_ like it, very much so, but the logical part of his brain (that was currently shrinking by the minute) was telling him that it was a horrible idea. He cleared his throat, but it didn’t do much to clear his head.

“You wanna watch a movie?” Jensen nodded almost imperceptibly, and Jared reluctantly rose from the couch, falling to his knees on the fluffy rug in front of the TV and rifling through his limited selection. He didn’t ask Jensen for input; he had a feeling Jensen didn’t really care what they watched.

Jared finally decided on White Christmas. He usually watched it every year—often multiple times—during the holiday season, but his whole Grinch demeanor he’d been experiencing this year had kept him from watching it so far.

“I love this movie,” Jensen murmured as the opening notes played on screen.

“Yeah?”

“One of my favorites,” Jensen smiled, reaching over and grasping Jared’s hand. Jared rubbed circles with his thumb across the warm skin.

“So…you wanna tell me what happened?” he asked after a few minutes. Jensen shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter.” Jared couldn’t disagree less—if something upset Jensen, it would _always_ matter—but he stayed silent, not wanting to push too hard.

Halfway through the movie, when Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, and Rosemary Clooney were singing about minstrels, Jared’s head tipped onto Jensen’s shoulder.                                                                                                                                                     

Half an hour later, when Rosemary Clooney ran back to New York because she thought Bing Crosby’s character was using the General’s sad story to make money, Jensen turned his head so that his breath was ghosting hot and sweet over Jared’s lips.

And when the former regiment lined up in their old uniforms and saluted the General as he walked past, Jared and Jensen were making out and shedding clothes like their lives depended on it.

They stumbled to the bed, legs tangling in half-removed pants and arms getting caught as undershirts were ripped off. Jared threw Jensen onto the bed and immediately climbed on after him, wasting no time in kissing Jensen up the inside of one leg and back down the other.

“Fuuuuuck.” Jensen dragged the word out on a moan, and Jared pushed Jensen’s legs apart and settled in between them.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” he whispered. “Tell me if you hate it.” Jensen whimpered in reply and Jared got to work, mouthing at Jensen’s balls until they were good and wet with spit, then moving lower, across his perineum to his tight, pink hole. Jared’s mouth watered as he pulled Jensen’s ass cheeks apart to give him unobstructed access.

His tongue laved over the hole, getting it nice and slick while reveling in the delicious noises that Jensen was making. Jared noticed the miniscule change, just a very small relaxing of the muscles that told him it was time to get a little more intense. Instead of licking, he started pushing, working the tip of his tongue against the furled muscle, the resistance only temporary before he was sucked in to. It was heady and hot and _ohsofuckingtight_. Jared’s favorite meal used to be steak and potatoes; now it was definitely Jensen.

“Fuck!” Jensen gasped, muscles locking down again, his hole clenching tight around Jared’s tongue, trapping it inside. Jared didn’t mind, though, just used the time to wiggle his tongue around before latching his lips onto Jensen’s hole and sucking hard.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh _fuck_! Are you tryin’ to kill me?” Jared’s laugh was low and rumbling, and he knew Jensen felt the vibrations from the way Jensen started cursing up yet another storm. It took a few minutes for him to relax again, and Jared thrust his tongue deeper, making welcome acquaintance with Jensen’s most intimate body part.

He continued licking and sucking, one forearm pressed down against Jensen’s pelvis to hold him somewhat still while his other hand rubbed soothingly up and down Jensen’s leg. He paused, pulling back slightly.

“You gonna come?” Jensen whimpered again. “You gonna come just from my tongue in your ass?”

“Y-yes!” Jensen cried, and Jared got back to work, reaching as far inside Jensen as possible.

He clenched around Jared a second time as a guttural scream tore from his throat. Jared removed his arm from Jensen’s hips to help jack him through the last part of his orgasm. When he felt Jensen twitch away from his touch, he let go and popped up from between his legs.

“Fuck, Jay,” Jensen said hoarsely, grabbing Jared and pulling him down, huffing as Jared landed on top of him. Jared registered the slick mess between them but didn’t think twice about it as Jensen began ravaging his mouth.

“Wanna suck you dry and then fuck you through a second orgasm,” he growled, and Jared just nodded helplessly as he was flipped over onto his back.

Jensen made his way down Jared’s chest, stopping momentarily at his nipples to tease them to hardness and torture Jared even more. His dick was red and straining, steadily leaking precome. He knew he wouldn’t last long. Jensen’s luscious lips around his cock was the closest thing to heaven he’d ever experienced, until…

“Oh, fuck!” he cried out as Jensen slid his mouth all the way down his cock until his nose was buried in Jared’s pubic hair. Jensen was deep-throating him, and yeah. _This_ was what heaven felt like.

As suspected, Jared didn’t last long. It was almost embarrassing how fast he came, just a few more thrusts into Jensen’s mouth before he pulled at the sandy-blond hair in warning. Jensen shook his head once and hummed, and that was it. Jared lost it, arching up off the bed as he spilled down Jensen’s throat, Jensen swallowing every speck.

Once he was sure Jared was done, Jensen pulled languidly off his cock, kitten-licking around the softened head.

“Jennnn,” Jared moaned, then shot up as a slick finger probed at his hole before sliding partially inside.

“Told ya I was gonna fuck you to a second one.” If Jensen’s voice sounded hotter before, it was absolutely _nothing_ compared to now. It was pure sex, rough yet tender and full of promises.

“Oh god, you’re gonna kill me,” Jared groaned, flopping back down on the mattress, his eyes rolling closed from over-stimulation.

“But what a way to go,” Jensen said. Jared couldn’t agree more, especially as a second finger was added and Jensen began properly stretching him out, his fingers occasionally grazing over Jared’s prostate. He already felt so full, but knew he was just getting a taste of what Jensen’s cock would feel like in his ass. He should know; they’d already done it once, after all.

But this time was better. This time they weren’t drunk and grappling with confusing emotions. Well, maybe that second part was still true, since Jared had been trying on his fucking _wedding tux_ before Jensen had arrived.

His thoughts evaporated instantly as Jensen inserted a third finger, and Jared felt like he was ready to blow. Again.

“I’m good, I’m ready. Fuck me, now!” Jensen’s fingers stilled for a moment, then resumed moving, this time rubbing over and over against Jared’s prostate, no relief in between sparks of pleasure. “Jen, I’m serious, I’m gonna come!”

“Guess we’ll just have to make it three times, then,” he said with a smirk. He licked his lips before ducking his head down and adding his tongue to his fingers, and Jared lasted another two seconds before he was coming again, even more intensely than before.

“Fuck,” he whimpered, sensitivity spiking more quickly after the second orgasm. Jensen pulled out and Jared could feel his hole gaping, inviting Jensen to plunge right back in. Which he did without wasting any time.

He didn’t _plunge_ so much as glide slowly, which Jared was grateful for. He was still overly-sensitive and trying to shake off the throes of the previous orgasm when Jensen was sheathed fully, filling his ass like nothing he’d ever felt before. Except one other time, obviously.

He keened and Jensen took that as a sign to move. He started off slow, just pulling out an inch or two before pressing back in. It was slow but forceful, and Jared’s cock perked up impossibly for a third time in less than two hours.

And then Jensen pulled all the way out, just the very tip nosing at Jared’s hole. He stayed there for one torturous minute before slamming back in. Jared curled in on himself, fingers scrabbling at Jensen’s shoulders and back. He was probably leaving all sorts of scratches and bruises over that pale, perfect skin. He couldn’t wait to investigate each one closely and thoroughly once they were done.

Jensen spent a few more minutes doing the same thing, pulling out completely and pausing before thrusting back in as hard as possible. It felt good; hell, it felt fucking _fantastic_. But it wasn’t enough for Jared, not after he’d already had two orgasms.

“More, Jen. Need more,” he panted. Jensen leaned over Jared, grabbing his sides and rolling them so that he was on his back and Jared was riding him. “Oh fuck,” Jared cried, immediately getting his knees under him and pushing off Jensen’s cock before sinking back down without pause.

Jensen was blinking rapidly, like he was trying so fucking hard to keep his eyes on Jared when all they wanted to do was roll back in bliss. His hands roamed incessantly over Jared’s skin, along his stomach and sides and down his thighs.

Jared rode him hard and fast, and once again it felt like the most amazing thing ever. He distantly wondered if sex with Jensen ever _didn’t_ feel good.

“Not enough,” he gasped.

“You need more, baby?” Jensen asked. “You need me to pound into you until you scream?” Jared nodded vigorously and Jensen rolled them back over. “I could put you on your knees, you know,” he growled, “take you from behind, rough and fast.”

 _Yes,_ Jared screamed internally, _yes yes yes!_

“But I’m not gonna do that.” Jared whined, disappointed. “No, baby. ‘Cause if I did that, I wouldn’t be able to see your gorgeous face. I wouldn’t be able to kiss those sinful lips. God, you taste so sweet, Jay. Like you were made for me. And it feels so fucking good inside of you, clenching around me tight and hot, like I was made for you.”

Jensen bent down and swallowed Jared’s mewling, his kisses surprisingly tender. He threaded his arms under Jared’s and back up so he could grip Jared’s shoulders, then settled his legs down in between Jared’s thighs.

It was similar to last time, the rocking motion, but more intense. Each tight, controlled thrust pounded Jared’s prostate perfectly, causing him to clench rhythmically around Jensen. At each clench, Jensen’s cock swelled just a little more. Jared could tell his partner was getting close, could feel it in the stuttering hips that tried to keep a steady pace.

“You want my hand, baby? Want my hand on your cock?” Jensen whispered dirtily into Jared’s ear.

“No. Wanna come just on your cock like you came just on my tongue,” Jared said, hoping it would do the trick.

Jensen didn’t scream this time; instead, he let out a long, low, almost desperate sound that had Jared clenching up and falling right over the edge with him. The feel of Jensen painting his insides with come was like a spiritual awakening, dragging out his orgasm until his entire body was on fire. He knew his ass was like a vice around Jensen’s cock, and as Jensen stuttered and rocked slightly before sucking in a sharp breath and letting out another low moan, he realized that Jensen was coming again.

Come was leaking out his hole all around Jensen’s cock. It was messy and dirty and the hottest fucking thing Jared had ever felt. He wrapped his legs around Jensen and held him close, keeping him from pulling out.

“Don’t you dare,” he whispered, feeling Jensen’s softening cock give a hopeful twitch inside him. Jensen slumped down, blanketing Jared’s body in warm, smooth, sweaty skin, the come from his first release still sticky between their abs.

“We’re gonna be glued together if we don’t get this wiped up soon,” Jensen murmured, not actually sounding too worried about it. Jared grabbed a few tissues from beside his bed and did a quick sweep of their torsos, not letting Jensen pull back farther than what was needed for Jared to quickly slip his hand in between them.

“Jay…” Jensen played absently with Jared’s hair, the soothing sensations lulling Jared into a light doze. It was still fairly early in the evening; he knew that if they fell asleep, it wouldn’t be for more than an hour or two so he didn’t need to bother with setting an alarm just yet.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t do this.”

“Don’ do wha?” Jared mumbled, sleep overtaking him before Jensen could respond.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jared heard the sheets rustle and felt the bed dip a bit beside him, and then Jensen’s face was hovering over his as he blinked away the last vestiges of sleep. Jensen was propped up on the mattress, elbow bent and head resting on his hand. His fingers traced invisible designs over Jared’s chest and stomach.

“Are you really gonna marry Duncan?” His voice was small, but Jared couldn’t tell if that was due to hopefulness or hopelessness. He sighed, biting his lip and looking away, trying to fight the tears that suddenly flooded his eyes.

Instead of answering, he asked, “How are you with forgiveness?” Jensen’s hand stilled momentarily, then began moving again before he spoke.

“We’re pretty close, y’know, every night I ask whatever deity is listening for forgiveness. Except maybe the Greeks. They had some wacky ideas about forgiveness and it would probably involve me cutting off a finger and sacrificing it to Hephaestus or something.” Jared’s head rolled back around and he stared at Jensen.

“You are so weird, you know that?” Jensen grinned.

“You love it.”

His reply shouldn’t have meant anything; it was just a kneejerk reaction that tons of people had, an automatic response to any joking insult. But here in Jared’s crappy apartment and too-small bed, the smell of sex and sweat and the mingled scent of their own essences permeating the air around them, the sentiment carried a certain weight to it that had Jensen sucking in a breath and Jared swallowing thickly.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I m—meant…how are you with forgiving other people? If someone messed up, even if it was an honest accident and they only ever had the best of intentions?”

“Why, you gone done me wrong, baby?” Jensen drawled exaggeratedly. Jared, because he couldn’t let bygones be bygones, swept his hand out towards their naked bodies, covered only by a thin sheet that didn’t do much to hide anything except Jared’s horrible farmer’s tan that never seemed to disappear and Jensen’s smattering of freckles that Jared wanted to play connect the dots with…using his tongue.

“You really have to ask that question?” Jensen sighed and flopped back down on the bed. Jared immediately missed the featherlight brushes of his fingers, the subtle tickling sensation that brought out sighs of content instead of wriggling laughs. “God, I’m sorry,” Jared groaned, rubbing his hands roughly over his face. Jensen’s hand landed on top of Jared’s, stopping their forceful movements.

“Jared, look at me.” Jared dropped his hands and glanced over. “ _I made this choice_ , okay? You are not some evil mastermind who manipulated me into falling in—into sleeping with you. Unless…” Jensen’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open comically. “Oh god, _are_ you an evil mastermind? Are you planning to take over the world? Do you have an army of floppy-haired, dimple-smiled underlings waiting on some phallic-shaped spaceship just outside the atmosphere?!”

Jared, unable to hold back any longer, burst into laughter, cackling and snorting and generally making an embarrassment of himself.

“If I were…would you be my…right-hand man?” he gasped, sides in stitches.

“Oh baby,” Jensen said, voice low and seductive, “I’d be the man for _all_ of your appendages.” Jared rolled his eyes and punched Jensen’s shoulder playfully.

“You wish.”

“Mmm,” Jensen hummed, not in disagreement.

“Just…” Jared sat up, suddenly serious. “Just remember what you said, about forgiveness. Please remember that, okay?”

“Jay, what’s going on?”

“I—I have to tell you something. You might hate me after.”

“I could never hate you,” Jensen said.

“You don’t know what I did.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Jensen reached up to run his fingers through Jared’s tangled mane.

“It will.”

“Well how about you tell me and _I’ll_ decide whether it does or not.” Jared closed his eyes and leaned into Jensen’s touch.

“I can’t,” he whispered brokenly.

“Why not?”

“I can’t lose you.” The words were barely more than a breath, and he knew Jensen hadn’t heard him.

“Jay?”

“Why did you come here tonight?” he asked instead, keeping his voice soft and kind. He genuinely wanted to know what had upset Jensen so much.

“Jared…” He rolled over so that he was half on top of Jensen, one arm thrown across his chest and one leg splayed over his thighs. He gently tapped each of Jensen’s freckles, starting at his hairline and working his way down one cheek and across his nose. He counted them silently, burning them into his brain. He might not be able to do this ever again, so he wanted to memorize every single detail, no matter how small, about the person laying naked underneath him.

“What are you—are you _counting_ my _freckles_?” Jensen’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and Jared paused, meeting his gaze.

“Maybe.” He went back to his quest.

“Uh, why?”

“Why not?” he said with a shrug. _Because I love your freckles and you deserve someone who would lay here all day and count them!_ Jared yelled silently. “So…tell me what had you so upset earlier.” Jensen let out a defeated sigh.

“I told my dad.”

“About leaving the company?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good though, right?”

“I mean, I’d put it off for way too long. I needed to just get it over with.”

“And…?”

“And my dad just sat there silently for five minutes before getting up and leaving the kitchen without saying one word to me.” Jared stopped counting freckles for a moment to place a consoling kiss on Jensen’s lips. When he felt them trembling, he decided that Jensen needed more than just one kiss. He kept them tender, almost chaste, meant to soothe and not arouse.

“When did this happen?” he asked after an even thirteen kisses. Thirteen was his lucky number. Maybe it would impart some of that good fortune onto Jensen. If anyone was worthy of it, it was him.

“Mmm…right after lunch? I left the house after he walked out of the room, drove around for a while. I didn’t want to go home to a, you know empty apartment.” Jared hummed in understanding. He knew far too well how it felt to be all alone while trying to deal with something as simple as a crappy day or as heartwrenching as disappointing a loved one.

“So you haven’t tried to call him since then.”

“No. He’s pissed, or worse.”

“Maybe he just needed a few minutes to wrap his head around it.”

“I dunno…”

“Call him now.”

“Now? Seriously?”

“Yeah. I’m here, I’ll be your silent support.”

“Jared…”

“Hey. You did nothing wrong, okay?” Jensen looked away and Jared slid over his body so that he could see his face again. “You did _nothing_ wrong.”

“It feels like I did.”

“I know. That’s because you love him and you want him to be happy. But you can’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.”

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jensen whispered, digging his hands into Jared’s hair for the five hundredth time that night. Not that Jared was complaining.

“I’m not. I’m nobody,” Jared muttered.

“You’re special. Don’t ever forget that.” Jared looked down and Jensen freed up one hand to rummage around the side table. Jared looked up again and saw Jensen dialing his father before putting the phone on speaker. Bob answered on the second ring.

“Jensen?”

“Hey, dad.”

“Why’d you leave ealier?”

“I—I thought you were upset. You didn’t say anything for a long time and then you just walked out of the room.”

“Ah, son, I’m sorry. I should have said something. I went up to the attic, was looking for that little table you had made when you were eight years old.”

“You still have that?”

“Yeah. Wanted to bring it down and show it to you.”

“Why? Why’d you even keep it?”

“Because you loved making that thing. Your grandpa helped you, remember? When he came up to visit that summer. And for the whole week you couldn’t stop talking about it. You were so excited, and the finished project…well, let’s just say it’s been more than twenty years and it’s still solid as a rock.”

“You—you’re not mad?”

“No.”

“And you’re not disappointed in me?”

“Of course not. I was a little surprised, to be honest. I didn’t know you were making furniture, let alone selling it for enough profit to make it into a business. But no, Jensen, I’m not disappointed.” Jensen breathed out a sigh of relief and Jared rubbed up and down his arm, anchoring him.

“In fact,” Bob continued, “why don’t I come over and see some of what you’re making?”

“Oh, uh. Now?”

“Yeah. I can be there in thirty.”

“Okay, um. I’m not at my place right now so give me an hour?”

“Sounds good, see you then.”

Jensen hung up and looked at Jared. He was smiling, his eyes crinkling at the corners like Jared had only seen a few times.

“He’s not mad.”

“I won’t say I told you so,” Jared snarked. Jensen pushed at him playfully and Jared rolled off the warm body, his feet landing on the rug beside his bed.

“I guess I should get going, then,” Jensen said, standing up and rooting around the small apartment for his clothes. Jared draped one of his fuzzy blankets around his shoulders.

“Yeah,” he said sadly. Jensen finished putting on his last shoe and stood up, swaying hesitantly between Jared and the door. Not wanting it to suddenly get awkward, Jared took the few steps to the closet, blanket dragging on the wood floor behind him, and handed Jensen his coat.

He opened the door and Jensen slid past him, squeezing his shoulder tightly. All too quickly, the hand was gone and Jensen was saying goodbye, walking down the stairs.

“Jen, wait,” Jared called. Jensen immediately turned and looked up. “Is there…any reason that you can think of, any reason at all, why I shouldn’t marry your brother?” _Please say something,_ Jared begged silently, _please say_ anything _, please_. Jensen smiled sadly, his eyes flickering away from Jared’s face.

“No. There isn’t.” He turned and headed down the stairs again, disappearing around the corner. Jared stood frozen in shock. The only part of his body that moved were his eyelids blinking rapidly as tears spilled down his cheeks. His mind raced in confusion and heartbreak.

 _He didn’t want me. I was…just a lay for him? But why? He’s not the kind of guy to sleep with his brother’s fiancé just for the sex. Then again, what kind of guy sleeps with his brother’s fiancé_ at all _? Hell, what kind of person sleeps with his fiancé’s brother?_ Jared chastised himself. And okay, _fake_ fiancé. But the lie was starting to become more and more real every day. Fuck, he was supposed to get _married_ tomorrow. And he would have called the whole thing off in an instant, but Jensen had walked away. Hadn’t even tried. Hadn’t fought for Jared at all.

Jensen didn’t want him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Kudos?  
> ❤❤❤  
> One more chapter to go!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t until he was sitting on the train, feeling like it was fucking Charon’s boat taking him to Hades, that Jared realized he’d worn the tux that Bob had helped him pick out. He hadn’t meant to; showing up at a fake wedding to tell his fake-now-real fiancé that the entire story was a sham was bad enough, but doing it in the tux he was supposed to be getting not-married in?
> 
> That was just wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the final chapter but I wanted the ending to be... _more_. Obviously, the story stops following the progression of the movie from the last half of this chapter and onwards. Enjoy!

Obviously, the only thing to do after that was drink. And cry. And drink. And cry some more. And drink some more. Jared would have worried about the fact that he apparently had more alcohol in his apartment than food but, well, he was too drunk to care.

It certainly wasn’t the best idea to show up to his not-wedding hungover—or at the rate he was going, still drunk. Because he most definitely _was_ showing up to it; he refused to run away from the situation. Refused to run away from this mess that might not have been of his own making, but he sure as hell had stoked the flames. And then added more logs. Stoked the flames some more. Possibly also poured a bucket of gasoline on all of it.

Well, that was the general picture.

He was slumped over on the couch, cradling a bottle of whiskey, a handful of empty beer bottles littering the floor around him. He’d drank beer until there was none left; that was when he’d moved on to something stronger.

His alarm went off late in the morning, and Jared had to stumble through what felt like a neverending maze to get to his bedside table and slap the thing until it shut up. He didn’t even require a self-smell-check to know that he stank, so he stumbled some more into the shower. He took a lazily long one, hoping the hot water and half hour of sobriety would bring his level of drunkenness down from ‘on the verge of trashed’ to ‘moderately buzzed’.

It worked, sort of. He wasn’t seeing double anymore, so that was a start.

It wasn’t until he was sitting on the train, feeling like it was fucking Charon’s boat taking him to Hades, that Jared realized he’d worn the tux that Bob had helped him pick out. He hadn’t meant to; showing up at a fake wedding to tell his fake-now-real fiancé that the entire story was a sham was bad enough, but doing it in the tux he was supposed to be getting not-married in?

That was just wrong.

But it was too late now, because he was already running late.

He just wished he could run away, turn around and make a break for it. Someplace different, someplace he’d always wanted to go.

Someplace he no longer deserved to see.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

 _Of course_ no one else was running late; the wedding was in the hospital chapel, so that wasn’t a surprise. (And why’d they even set the wedding this early? What the hell had been the point of that? Didn’t normal people take, like, a year to plan everything?)

If things hadn’t felt like they were spinning out of control before, he was in a fucking vortex now.

Because as he entered the chapel ten past noon, everyone else was ready to go. When he entered the chapel, there were a smattering of people filling up the first two rows of the pews. When he entered the chapel, Duncan was standing excitedly in front of the pastor, Jensen right next to him as the best man. (And fuck if that sight didn’t feel like someone was gleefully stabbing Jared.) When he entered the chapel, the music started immediately, and Jared had to walk straight up the aisle to get to the front of the room.

He turned towards Duncan, taking a deep breath in a fruitless attempt to steady his nerves, when the pastor began speaking.

“Dearly beloved,…”

 _Okay,_ Jared thought to himself, _if you put this off any longer, you are fucking going to end up being married to Duncan. For real!_

“…we are gathered here today to join—”

“I object.”

“I—uh—I didn’t get t-to that part yet,” the pastor stuttered. Jared looked down, not wanting to see the hurt, confused looks on anyone’s faces. And then…

“I would have to object, too.” Jared’s head shot up, and there was Jensen, staring right at him, a small smile playing at his lips.

Jensen objected? _Jensen objected?_ Fuck, Jensen objected!

Jared held his breath, not wanting to get ahead of himself. He couldn’t allow himself to hope, not too much. But he did anyways.

They held each other’s gaze. Jensen’s eyes were soft and misty, and Jared’s heart clenched up tight, this time not in fear or anxiety. He was in love.

“What about you?” the pastor asked Duncan, the both of them still looking incredibly confused.

“I, uh, I’m thinking,” Duncan said, obviously unsure as to how to handle the situation.

“What the hell is going on?” Bob asked loudly from the front pew. Jared sighed and turned towards the family he’d grown so close to over the last two weeks. Fuck, had it really only been two weeks? Everyone leaned forward slightly, expectantly, and Jared took another deep breath. He had no idea how to break the news, so he stopped thinking so hard and just let his mouth take over.

“I am in love with your son.” Oh, okay. So he was going there.

“Yeah, we know…” Maggie said.

“Not that one,” Jared replied, gesturing at Duncan, “ _that_ one.” He pointed towards Jensen.

“Oh, god,” Jared heard the pastor mutter, the soft closing of the large bible he’d been holding.

“Jensen! What did you do?” Bob scolded. Jared chanced a glance behind him, Jensen was smiling stupidly. Jared choked out a laugh.

“He didn’t do anything. It was me, it was all me.” A third deep breath, because he was going in. “Um, do you remember that day at the hospital? Of course you remember that day at the hospital. See, well, there was a little mix-up. Uh, I saw Duncan get pushed onto the tracks and I saved his life, but when I got to the hospital they wouldn’t let me see him. So Mar—someone told the doctor that I was his fiancé, only, um…it’s not true.” Jared paused, studying the blank stares of the family, like their brains hadn’t quite caught up to what Jared was confessing. “I was never engaged to Duncan.”

He looked around again, then unable to hold off any longer, turned back towards Jensen. Jensen was running a hand through his hair, the smile gone from his face. He didn’t look mad, just surprised. Maybe a little…sad?

“Why didn’t say anything?” he murmured.

“Because,” Jared whispered back, tears filling his eyes, “I didn’t know how to tell you.” Jensen looked away, a war of emotions clouding his face. Jared turned back to address the family.

“We’d never even met until that day on the tracks. It’s just, when we were in the hospital room everything happened so fast and I couldn’t tell you the truth. And then I didn’t _want_ to tell you the truth, because the truth was that…I fell in love with you.”

“You fell in love with me?” Bob asked. Jared let out something between a sob and a laugh.

“No. I mean, yes. _All_ of you. I went from being all alone to being a fiancé, a son, a grandson, a brother, and a friend.” Jared faced each on in turn as he said this, first Duncan then Bob and Maggie, then Bea, Erin, and finally Clark, whose smile encouraged Jared to keep going. “I haven’t had that in a really long time. And I just didn't wanna let go of that.” His voice finally broke, but he pushed on. “So even though it was just for a little while, I will love them always,” he said to Duncan, then turned to face the family once last time. “I’m very sorry,” he whispered, giving them a shattered smile before he walked back down the aisle towards the chapel doors.

Halfway there, a woman came barging in, a teetering stomp courtesy of her five-inch heels.

“I object!” she cried.

“Oh, get in line,” the pastor snarked.

A man followed her in a moment later, looking extremely pissed off.

“And _I_ object to _her_ objection!” he snarled.

“Who’s that?” Erin asked, twisting in her seat to stare at them.

“Oh, that’s Amber’s husband,” Duncan said.

“Wait—who’s _Amber_?” asked Maggie.

“My ex-girlfriend,” said Duncan.

“His fiancé!” Amber yelled at the same time.

 _Whoa,_ Jared thought, _now_ there’s _a plot twist._ The noise in the small chapel grew exponentially, voices shouting to be heard over other voices. Jared back away slowly. He had no part in this argument. He’d said what he’d come to say (finally), and it was time to go.

As he reached the double doors, he glanced back. Jensen was staring at him, burning holes through his soul. He looked pensive, maybe dejected, but there was still no anger to be found.

“I’m sorry,” Jared mouthed at him, offering him one last sad smile, and then he was through the doors and out onto the street. He should have felt relief, freedom. Like a weight had lifted off his chest.

All he wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry himself to death.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Three and a half months.

It’d been three and a half months since Jared walked out of that chapel.

It’d been three and a half months since Jared saw Jensen.

The snow had long since melted, and Jared hadn’t had to dig his coat out of the closet for almost four weeks. The freshly sprung green grass reminded him of Jensen’s eyes. The sun winking bright through fluffy white clouds reminded him of Jensen’s smile. The soft, warm breeze against his skin reminded him of Jensen’s touch.

Three and a half months, and Jared couldn’t get Jensen out of his head.

Jared suspected that he could wait three and a half _decades_ and the loss of Jensen would still feel just as desperate-red and bloody-raw as it did now. The fact that he’d only known Jensen two weeks did nothing to damper the heart-crushing emotions he experienced every night right before falling asleep, and every morning right as he woke up. In a way, it made it all worse. It usually took Jared a while to warm up to strangers, but Jensen—along with the entire Ackles family—had slotted into his life almost as if they’d always been there. There was no straining or uncomfortableness, apart from the guilt he’d struggled with courtesy of the now-dead lie. It was a hole he’d only been distantly aware that he’d had, and then this hodgepodge group of loud, opinionated, unrelenting, thoughtful, kind, compassionate, and unhesitatingly _welcoming_ people entered Jared’s life. And two weeks later, they were ripped right back out, and that hole that had been just an itch before was now a gaping wound, sore and messy and painfully demanding. It refused to be ignored any longer.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Before his life had changed so dramatically, he didn’t have anything to live for except, well, living. He wasn’t depressed per se, but he’d never had that specific thing that made him excited to get up in the morning, that had his heart beating fast in anticipation, that gave him that burning desire to do something special, _to be different_. Better. Maybe even remarkable.

Jared would never say anything that was born from this situation a silver lining, but the overwhelming sense of loss he had to deal with made him reevaluate his decisions in regard to basically every aspect of his life. He immediately and unsurprisingly found it lacking, but now he was determined to do something about that. So no, Jared wouldn’t call that a silver lining so much as a desperate attempt to distract himself.

He’d met with his boss, Jerry, laying out all of his strengths and abilities and how valuable of an employee he was. He’d walked away with a promotion, a cushy desk job (that was indoors!), and five dollars more per hour. He immediately started saving the new influx of cash, half of it going to a school fund and half of it going to a travel fund.

His father had died when Jared was a junior in high school; his meager life insurance had been enough to pay for rent and bills until Jared had graduated, but then he’d had to get a full-time job. He’d never even given a second thought to going to college, but he felt a determination now that, eight years earlier, had been forced out of his head due to grief.

His travel fund was specifically for New Zealand. Jared had a secret love affair with all things JRR Tolkien, one that he’d let slip that fateful night when he and Jensen had to spend over three hours walking home. He had a special affinity for The Hobbit; his dad had read it to him every night before bed when he was younger. So when the three Lord of the Rings movies were released a few years back, Jared had been one of the first people in line for tickets. Seeing the beautiful scenery of New Zealand had incited a burning desire in his gut to go there.

As his quality of life and his outlook for the future improved, Jared breathed little bit easier during the day. And if he still drank half a fifth of whiskey every night and cried himself to sleep? Well, that was nobody’s business but his own.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

When Jensen’s birthday had rolled around in early March, Jared had an itch under his skin that he hadn’t been able to get rid of. Nothing was a sufficient distraction, neither work nor sleep nor booze. It was probably a monumentally stupid idea, but Jared couldn’t stand the festering feeling. So he’d bought Jensen a birthday present and mailed it to his parents’ house. It was nothing expensive or even that special; just the soundtrack for White Christmas. Jared had been playing the movie on an incessant loop since January. He hadn’t even signed his name to the package or the birthday card, and he’d hoped Jensen would just accept the anonymous gift (and maybe enjoy it).

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Life kept going. April came and went, rainy and sluggish. May arrived, and as the days drifted by Jared felt his appetite wane and his chest get tighter with grief. The 22nd was the nine-year anniversary of his dad’s death, and Jared had made sure to take the day off from work. He knew he’d be absolutely no use there, all of his energy would be focused on trying not to break down in sadness.

It was barely noon and he was already cracking open his first bottle of beer. He was starting early, and he didn’t give two shits. Not today.

The tiny window in his kitchen had remained permanently open the last eight weeks. The fresh air and constant breeze was more than worth having to listen to the noisy, sleepless city. It often made Jared feel less alone.

He’d overheard many a strange thing through his open window, but never had he heard _this_. For a whole minute, Jared just stood there, thinking he was hallucinating. That he’d watch that damn movie so many times that he was hearing the songs even when the TV was turned off. When he finally realized no, this was not an audio hallucination, it was coming from outside on the sidewalk, Jared set his half-finished beer down and stuck his head out the window to peer down. What met his eyes had him reevaluating his sanity for the second time.

Because standing below him were Bob, Maggie, Erin, Bea, and Clark in a huddled group. Leading the pack was Jensen, not even a hint of an embarrassing blush to his cheeks as he lifted up a small stereo towards Jared’s window.

 _The best things happen while you’re dancing_  
Things that you would not do at home  
Come naturally on the floor

Jared choked out a laugh. It was an interesting choice of song, but he didn’t care. Because Jensen was standing right the fuck there, and he looked expectant. Hopeful. Happy.

Jared rushed out of his apartment, not even stopping to put on shoes. He flew down the stairs and out of the building, crashing into Jensen and crushing him in a breathless hug. He buried his face in Jensen’s neck and inhaled deeply, basically scenting the man he’d never thought he’d see again.

Jensen hugged him back just as hard and desperate, one hand _of course_ tangling almost immediately in Jared’s hair.

“Wha—how—” Jared stuttered around the sobs wracking his body.

“I know it’s been a while,” Jensen whispered, his own voice raspy from emotion, “but last time I saw you, you mentioned that you love me.”

“I might’ve said that,” Jared murmured, lips tickling Jensen’s skin.

“Does that offer still stand?” It was quiet, Jensen’s voice, hopeful and fearful at the same time. Jared pulled back to study Jensen’s face. It had changed slightly, a little thinner than before and with a new smattering of freckles.

Instead of answering, Jared caught Jensen in searing, open-mouthed kiss.

He didn’t care that Jensen’s entire family was behind them, watching. He didn’t care that he’d only known Jensen two weeks. He didn’t care that there were still a few conversations that needed to be had. He didn’t care about anything except him and Jensen, together.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Bob and Maggie wanted to take everyone out for lunch, but Jensen shook his head silently and motioned towards Jared’s apartment.

“How about dinner?” Jared said.

“That sounds great,” Maggie replied. “We’ll call you later with the details, okay?”

The Ackles family all hugged Jared and Jensen—Erin, Maggie, and Clark somehow ended up getting Jared twice, not that he was complaining—and they said their goodbyes, Jared leading Jensen back upstairs to his apartment.

“You, uh, want a beer?” Jared asked shakily. He was still trying to wrap his mind around everything that had just happened—everything that was happening _now_.

“Jay, it’s barely noon.” Jensen’s voice held no judgment, just a hint of concern. Jared shrugged and pulled out a fresh beer; the one he’d been nursing earlier was still sitting out on the table, now too warm to finish.

“Been a rough day.”

“Why?” Jared didn’t answer, just eyed Jensen as he took a swig from his bottle. He’d told Jensen, way back when they first met, about how hard his father’s ‘death day’ was for him every year. He wasn’t sure if Jensen remembered; he couldn’t blame the guy if he didn’t. The exact date was only mentioned in passing, and that had been five fucking months ago. But he waited, giving Jensen a chance.

His eyes squinted and his eyebrows scrunched together as he studied Jared. Jared knew the exact moment Jensen remembered, because his face fell and his eyes widened dramatically.

“Shit, Jay. Your dad…” Jared nodded sharply.

“Nine years.” He turned away and chugged the last of his beer before grabbing another one from the fridge. He popped the cap off and faced Jensen again, who was wavering hesitantly in place. A moment later, he strode determinedly across the room, taking the beer from Jared’s hand and placing it on the counter before pulling Jared into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry. But I promise that you’ll never be alone ever again,” Jensen whispered, petting Jared’s hair. Jared allowed exactly three tears to fall before he extracted himself from the hug.

“Thanks,” he rasped. “Hopefully you’ll understand if I’m not always…totally confident in that promise, at least at first.”

“Yeah, about that.” Jensen sighed but grabbed Jared’s hand. “We should talk.” He led Jared back to the living room, sitting down on the sofa. Jared sat in the chair, wanting to keep a little space between them in case things got awkward or heated.

“You go first,” Jared said after five minutes of silence.

“Okay. Well, I think the elephant in the room, so to speak, is the whole fake-fiancé thing.” Jared nodded, so Jensen continued. “I understand that you didn’t start it, that it was a misunderstanding. But you—there were plenty of opportunities to tell the truth. Why didn’t you?”

“You remember what I said in the chapel?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that part is completely true. I had a family for the first time in almost a decade. It just…the idea of losing all of that _hurt_. Not to mention, I didn’t want to hurt you all, either. It was complicated, and I was conflicted and guilt-ridden the entire time, if that makes you feel any better.” Jensen shrugged. So Jared told him the whole story, start to finish, leaving absolutely nothing out.

“I can’t say I’d do the same thing,” Jensen said after Jared had finished, “but I guess I get why you did it. I’m not mad, I want you to know that. I just…wanted to understand where you were coming from. What you were thinking. And I do now.”

“Okay…”

“Okay. So I guess that we can permanently take that off the table?”

“Yeah,” Jared sighed with relief. “I’d like that.”

“Good,” Jensen nodded. “Then, it’s your turn. You have any questions or anything?”

“Yep,” Jared said, wishing he had a beer. And fuck that, he was an adult. He was allowed to drink a beer when he wanted. “Just let me…” he trailed off as he got up and grabbed his beer from the kitchen, then flopped back down in the chair and took a drink. He saw Jensen purse his lips, but this time Jared just brushed it away. “It’s been almost five months, Jensen. I—you—where have you been? Why _now_?”

“Honestly? A huge part of that was I needed time to think. I needed to be able to take a step back from the situation, to look at it when it wasn’t so fresh. But I’ve also been really busy with work. Helping my dad find a replacement and then getting my own company off the ground.

“But with every week that passed, all I could think was, I wish you were here to see this. I wish you were here to help me. I wish you were here to sit next to me and watch a stupid movie or talk me down when I started to freak out that I’d fail, or just…I just wished you were _there_. And that feeling didn’t going away; it just kept getting stronger. Which is how I knew.”

“Okay.” Jared picked at the label on his bottle, nervous about what he wanted to ask next. “Why did you sleep with me when you thought I was engaged to your brother?” he blurted out, then flinched. He looked up carefully at Jensen, expecting to see anger or hurt. Instead he saw flushed cheeks and eyes that refused to meet his gaze.

“I’m not proud of that,” Jensen whispered. “I’d never have thought that it’d be something I’d ever do. I just…god, Jared. It’s like you had this pull over me, and I couldn’t stop myself. And I know it’s a shitty excuse, but. I mean, I was absolutely gone for you after about the third day, and it broke my heart every time I reminded myself that you were going to marry my brother. So I guess it was sort of, ‘I’ll never be able to have what I want so I’ll just take what I can get.’ But,” he added, looking up and meeting Jared’s gaze, “I would never do that to you. Or anyone else again, for that matter. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Jen,” Jared said softly. “Obviously I’m not exactly innocent in the whole thing. It takes two to tango and all that, and it’s not like I tried to stop you. Or myself. I just wanted to know.”

“Fair enough.”

“Okay. Um, anything else?” Jared asked. Jensen chewed on his bottom lip. He obviously was itching to ask Jared something, but was hesitant to. “Jen?”

“It’s nothing. I mean, it’s not important right now. Hell, it might never be important. That sounds a little convoluted, I know. I just want to make sure it’s something that needs to be brought up before I actually bring it up, y’know?”

“Uh, sure?” Jensen took a deep breath and let it out.

“It’s not something either of us need to worry about right now.”

“If you’re sure…”

“I am.”

“Okay…”

They stared at each other for a few minutes, the silence interrupted by the loud rumbling of Jared’s stomach.

“Right. Lunch.” He stood up and quickly stretched out his back. “I was gonna make some sandwiches. Do you wanna join me?”

“Of course.” Jensen smiled and stood, and they headed into the kitchen.

“So tell me more about your business,” Jared said as he began pulling random sandwich things from the fridge.

And Jensen did, all throughout lunch and after, when they ended up back in the living room, this time both of them sprawled out on the couch. Then Jensen asked Jared what he’d been up to, and Jared told him about his promotion and his plans for college and that he was finally able to save money for an eventual trip to New Zealand.

They talked and laughed for hours, only interrupted by the ringing of Jensen’s cell. It was Maggie, asking them where and when they wanted to get dinner.

And that night, Jensen ended up back in Jared’s apartment, shucking his shoes and jeans and shirt before climbing into bed, pulling Jared tight to his chest. He could feel Jensen’s heartbeat and his warm breath, and for the first time in a very long time, Jared couldn’t wait to wake up in the morning.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

If Jared had thought his life had changed dramatically on Christmas, that was _nothing_ compared to the following two weeks.

He finally got to see Jensen’s apartment. And apparently, Jensen had adopted a dog two months ago. So one sunny afternoon, Jared took Sadie to the park near his house. Jensen showed up a few minutes later, and Sadie immediately adopted his dog, Harley, as a little brother. Or whatever. Jared didn’t know how dogs thought. After Harley and Sadie had been thoroughly exhausted, first from a two-mile run and then from an hour of playing fetch, they’d collapsed on top of each other and fallen asleep almost instantly. So Jared figured they probably didn’t hate each other.

Jared signed up for two summer classes at one of the community colleges in the city. He’d even managed to snag a scholarship, which payed for more than half of his tuition and fees. He didn’t tell Jensen until the night before classes started due his fear of failure and the ensuing embarrassment. But Jensen had noticed Jared’s nervous energy, and finally called him out on it.

“What’s going on, Jay?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re all fidgety, like someone put itching powder in your boxers.”

“…”

“Jared. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“Just, don’t laugh?”

“Of course not.”

“Okay. I, uh, I signedupforsummerclasses.”

“One more time, in English?”

“I signed up. For summer classes. At JuCo.”

“Jay, that’s…fuck, that’s awesome! Babe, why were you so nervous to tell me?”

“What if I fail?”

“What if you don’t?”

“I hate when you’re all logical and supportive.”

“Mmm. I know you do. Is that why your hand is now down my pants?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Hey. Just—hang on, okay? I wanna hear more about this. Do you know what you want to study?”

Jared blushed furiously at the question. He’d zipped Jensen’s pants back up and settled down on the oversized sectional in his boyfriend’s living room.

“It’s stupid,” he muttered.

“I doubt that,” Jensen said, gently rubbing his thumb over Jared’s jaw.

“I, uh…well, okay. I’m so proud of you for starting your own business, Jen. Like, that’s fucking amazing. But I’ve noticed that you could sorta maybe use some help?” It wasn’t supposed to be a question, but Jared didn’t want Jensen thinking he was insulting him in any way. “I just mean,” he rushed to add, “that most of your time is spent talking to clients and actually building the furniture. You need help with the business aspect. You know, paperwork, bookkeeping, organization, marketing…”

“You’re not wrong. But how does that have to do with you—ohhh. You want—are you sure?”

“Yeah. I thought I could study business, maybe get a minor in something, too.”

“Jay, I don’t—I mean, this is a huge decision. I don’t want you to choose this just because of me.”

“Oh, I’m not. Totally selfish, right here. I want to be able to spend all day at work with you.” Jared batted his eyes and Jensen snorted.

“Well, I know some of that business-y stuff is just common sense. But you’re right, I’m too busy to take care of all of it for much longer. So what d’you say you come in for a few days and look it all over, see if there’s anything you’d be comfortable working on right now?”

“Sure. But how much will you pay me?” Jared teased.

“How about three steaks per week and a blow job every day?”

“Is that all I’m worth to you?”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Padalecki. How about three steaks per weeks, a blow job every day, _and_ I’ll rub your feet whenever we watch a movie.”

“I dunno, Mr. Ackles. A man cannot live on blow jobs and massages alone.”

“Okay. Here’s my new offer…move in with me?” Jensen was looking at Jared, all joking gone from his tone. Jared sucked in a breath.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Are you _sure_?”

“I’ve only thought about us falling asleep together and waking up together every day for the past, oh, four months.”

“Yes,” Jared breathed out. Jensen beamed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't decide on an ending, but I finally found one I love. Hope you love it just as much.

Two days later, Jensen swung by Jared’s in his pickup and helped carry down a whopping four boxes of personal belongings that he wanted to keep, photos and artwork and décor and a couple of knickknacks. One of those boxes was full of Sadie’s doggy stuff, toys and treats and the blanket she’d commandeered from Jared the first week in her new home. All of Jared’s clothes and shoes fit into one large suitcase, and for some reason that embarrassed him. The fact that his entire almost-twenty-six years of life could be summed up in four boxes, one suitcase, and the dog by his side was a little depressing.

“What’s wrong?” Jensen asked as he settled the suitcase in the bed of the truck and shut the tailgate.

“Nothin’,” Jared shrugged.

“Uh huh.” Jensen covered the short distance between him and Jared in two quick strides, opening his arms and pulling Jared into a warm hug. “Why don’t I believe you?”

“It’s just…it’s sad, isn’t it? Pathetic? That this is all I have to show for myself,” Jared mumbled against Jensen’s neck.

“It’s just stuff, Jay. It’s not a representation of who you are as a person or where you’re headed in the future.”

Damn, Jared hated when Jensen was all levelheaded and logical.

“All right, all right,” Jared grumbled, swatting Jensen in the butt and smirking at the surprised yelp he got in reply. “Let’s get this done before it gets dark.”

“Yes, your highness,” Jensen said with a bow and a really terrible British accent. At least, Jared thought it was supposed to be British. Jensen opened the passenger-side door and swept his arm out stiffly. “Your chariot awaits.”

“And will my selected admirers be in my suite when I return to the palace?” Jared asked, with an even admittedly worse accent than Jensen’s.

“They better not,” Jensen growled, reaching up and catching Jared in a swift but searing kiss before shutting the door firmly.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

In the first few weeks of living together, there was one moment of distress.

Jared gasped awake one night, breathing hard and drenched in sweat. He laid there, eyes staring unblinkingly at the ceiling as he attempted to untangle the images flashing through his mind and reconstruct his reality. It was a good two minutes before he realized someone—no, _Jensen_ —was talking to him. Actually, he was shaking him by the shoulders and his voice sounded almost frantic.

“Jared! Are you okay? Answer me, please!” Jared rolled his head towards Jensen and stared at him for another full minute before he could form coherent words.

“I’m fine. What happened?”

“I dunno. You were, god. you scared the _shit_ outta me. You were crying and whimpering and thrashing around. I’m assuming it was a nightmare?”

“Yeah,” Jared croaked, closing his eyes and clutching at the rapidly-shredding pieces of his dream. It had already started to fade away, growing fuzzier as reality became clearer, as most dreams tended to do. But he caught the gist of it, before it slipped away completely. “Yeah,” he repeated, stronger this time.

“Wanna talk about it?” Jensen asked, brushing Jared’s sweat-damp hair away from his face.

“It’s stupid.”

“it’s not.” Jensen’s reply was automatic. Instantaneous. Jared sighed.

“I dreamed that you left me.” Jensen’s hand stilled at Jared’s words, and then he was curling around Jared, one leg and one arm sliding over Jared’s body to surround him in a Jensen-shaped bubble.

“I’m not. Going. _Anywhere_ ,” he growled. The sound was not an angry one; it was…protective. A shield. A promise.

And after that night, Jared had no more nightmares.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“Jay! Get your ass in gear!” Jensen shouted, his voice muffled through the closed bedroom door. Jared stood in front of the full-length mirror, fussing with his hair and shirt and watch. He knew that he was just stalling at this point, but he didn’t care.

“Jared!” Jensen’s voice was sharp, and the door flew open a moment later. Jared knew he looked nervous, and Jensen’s face softened as he took in Jared’s expression. “Babe, you look fine. Better than fine, actually.”

“That’s not the problem,” Jared grumbled, turning back to the mirror and brushing imaginary lint off his jeans.

“Then what is?” Jensen asked gently, moving up behind Jared and wrapping his arms around his waist. He rested his chin on Jared’s shoulder and studied Jared’s reflection. “My family adores you,” he murmured reassuringly. “Hell, I’m pretty sure you’re their favorite son.” Jared sighed and closed his eyes.

“You know what I did last year on my birthday?” he rasped.

“No…”

“I worked a fourteen-hour shift then came home and ate a frozen meal, drank five beers, and fell asleep watching You’ve Got Mail.” When Jensen didn’t respond, Jared opened his eyes, expecting to see pity. Instead, Jensen was smiling softly.

“I’m sorry, Jay. I wish that you hadn’t been alone. But you’re _never_ going to be alone on your birthday—or any other day of the year—ever again. I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that, Ackles,” Jared said. It was supposed to be a joke, but his voice cracked halfway through with emotion and Jensen spun Jared in his arms before tightening his grip around him again, settling into comforting hug.

“Always,” Jensen whispered, pressing tender kisses into Jared’s neck.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

The whole family was there for Jared’s birthday, making the house feel crowded and chaotic and absolutely perfect.

Even Duncan had come, bringing his new girlfriend with him. The first few times Jared had run into him after getting together with Jensen had been awkward. But Duncan hadn’t been angry with Jared, just embarrassed with the situation like Jared was. They still weren’t the best of friends—never would be, since they didn’t have much in common—but Jared was glad to hear that the entire ordeal had Duncan reassessing his priorities and making a few changes in his life, including spending more time with his family.

The party might not have looked like anything special to an outsider, but it was Jared’s first birthday in ten years that he hadn’t been alone, and it was his first birthday ever that had been so full of laughter and love. And presents! Holy shit, the presents!

“Guys, this is too much. You didn’t have to do all this,” Jared said, eyeing the small stack of gifts on the coffee table.

“Nonsense,” Maggie said, holding up a video recorder like it was Jared’s first birthday, not his twenty-sixth. “Start opening!” she urged, and who was Jared to deny his surrogate mom?

Erin had gotten him a travel guidebook about New Zealand, which made Jared’s heart lurch achingly—but also excitedly. Because he knew now that New Zealand was not some distant childhood dream, but something he was finally actively working towards. Duncan had gotten him sunglasses and sunblock, which Jared thanked him politely for while silently wondering what the hell was happening. He proceeded to open Bob and Maggie’s present, revealing a very nice suitcase. Lastly, Bea and Clark had gotten him a shiny new digital camera.

Jared looked around at the gifts, a mix of appreciation and confusion.

“I feel like there’s some kind of theme here,” he said, looking at the people around him.

They just smirked and then Jensen stepped forward, grinning brightly and handing Jared a card. Jared opened it and pulled it out, but before he could read it something slipped from the card onto his lap. He picked up the two small pieces of paper, staring at them silently, disbelief coursing through him as he read the words in front of him.

Finally, he looked up, gaze immediately locking with Jensen’s.

“Jen?”

“Happy birthday, Jay.”

“ _Jen_.”

“You deserve it.”

“Jen!” Jared lunged off the couch and threw himself at his boyfriend, almost knocking Jensen off his feet from the forceful hug. Jensen gripped back just as tight, whispering nonsensical, loving words in Jared’s ear.

Eventually, Jared pulled back so that he could suck in a full breath.

“You bought me a fucking trip to _New Zealand_?!” he exclaimed, not thinking twice about cussing in front of his boyfriend’s parents.

“You better fucking believe I did!” Jensen laughed, pulling Jared into another hug.

“All right,” Jared declared, stepping back after a few minutes. He looked around the room, seeing smiling face after smiling face. “Thank you all, so much. This has been the best birthday ever thanks to the best family,” his gaze landed on Jensen and Jared smiled even brighter, “and the best boyfriend ever.”

“You two are such saps!” Erin called.

“No cake for you, squirt!” Jensen shot back, chasing after Erin towards the kitchen.

“I guess it’s time for cake,” Jared said to everyone, and they all began conversing loudly as they made their way towards the kitchen.

Before Jared reached the kitchen, he was tugged into the empty hallway, his back pressed firmly up against the wall as Jensen kissed him, deep and thorough.

“I fucking love you,” Jensen growled, and Jared grabbed him and yanked him into another searing kiss.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

 

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

EPILOGUE

“You ever had mountain sex?” Jensen asked, wiggling his eyebrows as he dropped his pack onto the ground.

“ _Mountain_ sex?”

“Yeah. It’s like beach sex, but without all the sand.” Jensen grimaced distastefully at the memory from their impromptu coupling a few days earlier. Jared rolled his eyes, but he had to agree. That sand had gotten everywhere. Seriously. _Everywhere_.

“You’re an idiot,” he said fondly, shaking his head. But he couldn’t help glancing around surreptitiously, checking to see if they were truly alone.

It was unnecessary; they’d left the hiking trail hours ago, heading straight east until they broke through the edge of the forest and were greeted with the most spectacular view of hills not quite big enough to be considered mountains, blanketed in soft green grass and brightly-colored wildflowers. Their slopes were gradual, easy enough to hike up without any extra equipment.

They had just reached the top a minute ago, and Jared had barely had a chance to look around and catch his breath when Jensen started talking about mountain sex.

He ignored his boyfriend and set his own pack down, fishing the camera out from the side pocket and spinning slowly in a circle, taking in the wide open spaces of New Zealand as he tried to decide what to photograph first. It didn’t matter where he started; every angle was breathtaking. Jared knew he could fill up an entire memory card with photos if he was left here long enough.

He started snapping away, adjusting the lighting and focus every few minutes. He heard Jensen huff beside him, his attempt at sounding annoyed at Jared’s lack of attention. Jared knew he wasn’t actually offended; every night, they uploaded Jared’s photos to Jensen’s laptop and sorted through them, reliving the day with silly jokes and sighs of contentment, choosing which ones were their favorites, ones they wanted to print and frame, and which ones to email to their family.

So Jared kept snapping and Jensen settled down into the grass, legs stretched out in front of him and face tilted up towards the sun. Jared continued to take photos, making sure to get plenty candid shots of his boyfriend, unbeknownst to him.

Eyes closed as he leaned back on his elbows. Shoes and socks and shirt off, stretched completely out as he soaked up the sun, his skin tanning more pink than brown while his freckles darkened and multiplied. Body twisted towards Jared, arm out as he beckoned his boyfriend forwards, eyes wide and brilliant and as richly green as the grass surrounding him. A satisfied grin on his face as Jared’s own arm made an appearance in the frame, hand gripping Jensen’s as he was pulled towards his boyfriend.

But before Jared allowed himself to get too comfortable, he set up his tripod and attached the camera securely to the top, focusing it on Jensen before joining him on the ground. He had the camera set to take a photo every few minutes, not worrying about unflattering angles or weird lighting. He just wanted to make sure that he captured plenty of moments between them before they left.

Jared stared out at the endless sea of blue and green, interrupted only by the occasional white fluffy cloud and small smudges of red and purple and yellow flowers. He didn’t even notice his stomach rumbling with hunger until Jensen was waving an energy bar in front of his face.

They ate in silence, bodies pressed together from shoulders to hips to ankles. Jared took a deep breath before letting it out in a long, happy sigh. He then tugged his own shoes and shirt off and turned to Jensen.

“So, you mentioned something about mountain sex?” Jensen’s face lit up and his smile turned wicked as he tackled Jared onto his back, shimming out of his own cargo shorts then making short work of Jared’s.

“Geez, you’d think it’d been five _years_ since you had sex, not five _hours_.”

“What can I say,” Jensen murmured as he nipped along Jared’s jaw, “you’re really good at getting me all hot and bothered.”

“I’m not complaining.” Jared’s words morphed into a moan as Jensen dragged his tongue in a line down Jared’s stomach, not stopping as he licked a stripe down Jared’s cock, across his balls, and back all the way to his hole.

“Fuck,” Jensen groaned, teasing his fingertip inside, “you’re still all wet and open from this morning.” He sunk two fingers in at once, and Jared arched up off the ground at the sudden sensation of fullness. A finger brushed absently over his prostate and Jared’s back arched even more as he clamped down around Jensen. “Fuck,” Jensen repeated, pulling out slowly before crawling back up Jared’s body and attacking his mouth, fucking his tongue into the warm wetness as a preview of what his cock would be doing. He reached down to line up with Jared’s hole, the bloated tip of his cock nudging insistently at the sensitive rim.

“Do it,” Jared gritted out, arousal rippling down his spine. He was already close, could feel his orgasm tickling at the edges of his mind and body. Jensen pushed in the head of his cock in and froze when Jared hissed.

“Shit, Jay. You’re—god, you’re tight. I—dammit, I didn’t realize. I should’ve prepped you more, I’m so sorry,” Jensen babbled, concern and guilt obvious as his whole body sagged, forehead resting right below Jared’s collarbone. And god, his boyfriend sounded so damn ashamed that Jared couldn’t stop the quiet chuckle that escaped him. He carded his fingers soothingly through Jensen’s short hair, the sweat and grime making it stand up in ridiculous spikes.

“I think it’s a little late for that, babe. But it’s not your fault. I thought I was more open, too.” Jared took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax so that the dull, burning ache inside him began to recede. “I’m fine, I promise. Just…go slow, okay?”

“Of course,” Jensen whispered, liftin his head up and kissing Jared slowly, just as heated as before but now sweet and tender instead of desperately frantic. He pushed in farther, stopping when Jared tensed up again.

This was how they went for minutes, stopping and starting, moving forward in small, torturous increments. The pain was not that bad, but the drawn-out, almost teasingly slow growing fullness inside of him was excruciating, driving him wild with lust. But Jensen refused to go faster, not wanting to hurt Jared. Jared’s own erection had wilted at first, but by the time Jensen was buried to the hilt, their bodies snug together, he was achingly hard once again, beads of precome pulsing out from the slit with each pounding heartbeat.

He wrapped his legs around Jensen’s waist and squeezed his shoulders tightly, hoping to renew the fading bruises that he’d made a few days before. During the whole beach ordeal.

‘You should really start moving now,” he gasped out, and Jensen didn’t hesitate. He pulled back slowly, his thick cock dragging across the fluttering muscles inside Jared’s ass. He paused for a moment, cock almost completely drawn out, until Jared began whimpering. Jensen slammed back in, hitting Jared’s prostate dead on as the breath was punched out of him.

“Fuck me!” he growled, and Jensen let out an animalistic sound, something akin to a roar as he staked his claim over Jared. Jared claimed him right back

“ _Mine_!” he snarled, yanking Jensen into a dirty, sloppy kiss. Jensen pumped his hips faster in response, skin slapping obscenely against skin, the sharp bones of Jensen’s hips probably leaving bruises across Jared’s ass cheeks.

Although no words were spoken, they were far from silent. Whimpers and grunts and harsh panting could be heard over the sound of their bodies moving together. They scrabbled against each other roughly, leaving possessive scratches and bruises littered over skin.

As Jared hurtled towards the edge, through his moan a single word emerged, repeated over and over each time Jensen slammed in against his prostate. Sparks flared through his body at each jolting thrust.

“Jen. Jen. Jen,” he chanted, his voice getting higher and higher as he neared his release.

“Jay, baby. Come. Come for me,” Jensen ground out, his voice like gravel shooting straight through Jared’s body to his dick. He stiffened, his cock pulsing out load after sticky load between their bodies as his ass clenched tightly around Jensen’s cock.

Jensen arched up, the cordlike muscles in his neck straining as he let out a mangled cry and painted Jared’s insides hot and wet. At the feel of Jensen filling him up with his seed, Jared’s cock gave a valiant twitch, and Jared clamped even tighter around Jensen as his aftershocks turned into a second orgasm.

“Fuck, babe! Did you just…?” Jensen asked between harsh breaths.

“Uh huh,” Jared grunted, and Jensen’s eyes rolled back as he let out a long cuss. His cock swelled inside Jared and let out a few more pulses of come before he collapsed, blanketing Jared’s body with his own, skin heated and slick with sweat. Jared could practically feel Jensen’s heart racing.

Jensen didn’t pull out, even as his come seeped out of Jared’s too-full hole. When he began to soften, he angled his hips to keep himself inside Jared even longer. Jared groaned loudly at the motion, but his body would need a few hours to recharge, especially after such an explosive orgasm, not to mention the second one that had followed immediately.

They dozed for a while, hands roaming slowly over skin and through hair, fingers finally tangling together. The sun was warm and the soft breeze was calming, the only sounds around them were birds chirping and the wind ruffling through the blades grass and their own deep breaths. Jensen was a comforting weight on top of Jared and he soon fell asleep.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

The sounds of rustling woke Jared, and as he looked up to the still-blue sky, he knew that he hadn’t been asleep for longer than an hour. He felt movement beside him and looked over to see Jensen sprawled on his side on the grass, body pressing up against Jared’s.

“Hey sleepyhead,” he whispered. Jared grinned and closed his eyes, soaking in all the memories from that day. “Nuh uh,” Jensen said, “no going back to sleep.” Jared cracked an eye open.

“I wasn’t!”

“Good. Because…” he paused, threading his fingers through Jared’s. “I need to ask you something.” He blinked shyly up at Jared through long lashes, and Jared leaned over to press a kiss to his lips.

“Anything.”

Jensen didn’t speak for a few minutes, just gazed at Jared, studying his face, eyes occasionally dropping down to his body but always finding their way back up to Jared’s own steady gaze. He took a deep breath, and…

“Will you marry me?”

Jared froze, eyes wide and mouth slack in surprise. Then Jensen reached behind him to grab something, holding his hand out to Jared. On it sat a simple platinum band. He took Jared’s left hand and brushed his thumb over Jared’s knuckles.

“I love you. Since they day I met you. And every single day for those two weeks, I went to sleep at night wishing that it was me you were marrying, not my brother. The second you said that you were in love with me, that you had never been engaged to Duncan in the first place, I wanted to drop to my knee and propose to you.

“The only thing that’s different now, is that I love you even more. So, Jared Tristan Padalecki…will you marry me?”

“If you had done that,” Jared said shakily, “dropped to your knee and proposed in that chapel? I would have said yes then.” Jensen took in a sharp breath. “And you know what’s different now?” Jared asked, caressing Jensen’s face. Jensen shook his head and Jared leaned forward, lips brushing against Jensen’s ear. “Nothing,” he whispered. “It’s still, and always will be, _yes_.”

Jensen slipped the ring on Jared’s finger, a blinding smile on his face. He reached behind him again and produced another ring, which Jared slipped onto Jensen’s finger. A tear slid down Jensen’s cheek and Jared could feel his own wet eyes not far behind.

“So,” Jensen chuckled, fingers playing idly with Jared’s ring, “any profound words for this life-altering event?”

“Yeah. I think you gave me grass burn.”

“Mmm,” Jensen smirked, eyes gleaming, “I guess you’ll just have to return the favor.” He pulled Jared to him and rolled onto his back while Jared straddled his hips. He leaned down and kissed Jensen, putting all of his thoughts and emotions and love into the action.

“Love you too, Jay,” Jensen breathed against his lips. Jared smiled and placed another kiss on the lips of his very real fiancé.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

THE END

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and commenting. Love you all.
> 
> ❤❤❤


End file.
